Slow Burn
by Scousedancer
Summary: The relationship between Tom and Rachel is a slow burning one (hence the title!), but their path won't be an easy one, Tom needs to grieve for his deceased wife, and Rachel will need to learn the fine art of compromise. Still, the attraction and love between them won't be denied forever (so if you don't like Tom/Rachel as a couple, read no further!). Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**SLOW BURN : CHAPTER 1**

Rachel could hear her heart pounding away in her ears as she followed Tex through the darkened halls of the Avocet building. Beside her she could hear the steady, reassuring sound of Kara Foster's firm, purposeful stride – her admiration for the young pregnant sailor had grown exponentially over the last few hours. Despite the threat to her own life and that of her unborn child, Kara still held it together, and Rachel could only admire the young woman's strength. Suddenly the group heard the sound of rapid gunfire up ahead, and they quickly took cover as they waited nervously to see if it was friend or foe. Rachel almost moaned in relief when she saw the face of Tom Chandler illuminated by the dim moonlight, as Tex called out to the Captain, signalling with his flashlight.

"Hey Commodore, it's us!" Tex called out softly, getting Tom's attention immediately. He noticed Rachel stood just behind Tex, but it was Kara Foster who grabbed his attention, as she should've been aboard the Nathan James. His heart sank at Tex's explanation for her presence, but relieved the wisecracking security expert had arrived to save the young woman and her unborn baby in time. Satisfied that Kara was ok, his attention swung back to the woman who even in spite of the god awful loss of his wife still occupied a place in his heart. The flashlight highlighted her heart shaped face, and the tawny eyes that could soften in tenderness or spit fire dependant on Rachel's mood. She looked tense and stressed, upset even, but given the events of the last few hours, was it any surprise Tom thought to himself. The strength of their connection startled him, and he could see the words she didn't, no _couldn't_ say – words he too was unable to utter.

"Are you ok?" Tom asked her instead, when what he really wanted was to pull her close, and hold her, whisper in her ear " _Thank god you're alright! I was terrified they'd hurt you"._

"I'm fine" Rachel replied, knowing that deep inside all _she_ wanted was to reach out and hold him, to say softly " _Thank god you're alive! I was terrified you'd been hurt!"_.

For now though, the words would have to remain unspoken, verbally at least, they both knew that. Tom still needed to grieve for the loss of his beloved wife, his partner of nearly 20 years, and make a decision on what to do with his family. Rachel too needed time to grieve, for her friend and partner – she still couldn't believe Quincy was dead, after all they'd been through together. For now, their words would have to remain unspoken, uttered only through the uncanny bond they'd formed between them. Someday they'd have to address the unspoken attraction between them – it was like a ten tonne elephant always in the room with them. Both knew it was there, but whilst Darien had been alive, neither would ever address its presence, Tom because he loved his wife too much, Rachel because she never wanted to be the cause of breaking such a bond, they all deserved better. With Darien gone, and once Tom's grieving was done, when they'd both had time to process what had become of their world, they would address it – but not now. Tom asked Thorwald's men to see Rachel and Kara to safety, and he was relieved to see Rachel go quietly, needing to know she and Kara would be safe.

Hours later, Rachel sat in what was left of her lab aboard the Navy destroyer that had become her home, staring at the vials of the Primordial strain she'd placed back into the freezer, tears rolling down her face unchecked. These samples had cost Quincy his life, whilst their absence had nearly cost the lives of both Kara and her unborn child. Try as she might, Rachel couldn't get rid of those thoughts, hence the storm of tears currently wracking her petite frame. It was how Tom found her when he'd set out in search of her, at the insistence of his eldest child. Ashley was unable to rest, still worried over Sam's reaction to the cure, wanting a doctor to check out her brother and assure her he was ok. The sight of the normally strong doctor sobbing so uncontrollably and even worse alone, with no-one to comfort her caused Tom's heart to squeeze painfully. Without stopping to over think things, he strode into the lab and gathered Rachel gently into his arms, just as he had the night they'd discovered Rachel had found the cure. Stroking her back tenderly, just as he would one of the children, Tom waited for the storm of tears to abate and found himself weeping along with her, crying the tears for his beloved wife he'd been unable to shed in front of his father and the children.

Eventually, the tears abated and not a sound echoed through the lab save the hum of the freezer, along with the sound of their soft, hitched breathing. For a few moments more, they took comfort from the other's presence, savouring the strength each represented to the other.

"You okay now Rachel?" Tom asked her; once he was sure he could keep his voice steady. Rachel smiled shakily, how like him to think of others when his pain was as great as anyone else's, it was one of many things she loved about him.

"No, but I will be – honest" she replied, her heart still heavy over the loss of Quincy, the misery she'd seen on the streets of Baltimore, but she knew they'd both be ok. That as long as they had their friendship, they could weather any storm together.

"I'm sorry to ask, but Ashley, my daughter, is worried sick over Sammy" He told her "Seems he had a bad reaction to the cure, and she won't rest until a doctor checks him out, could you do the honours, please Rach?"

"Of course, Tom I'd be glad to help" Rachel smiled "It's not a problem, just let me grab some supplies from sickbay and I'll meet you at your quarters in say 20 minutes?"

"Thanks Rachel, I appreciate it, more than you know" Tom replied, squeezing her hand gently.

She nodded in reply and turned to leave her lab, glad to have a purpose once more. Tom watched her go, before returning to his quarters to let Ashley know he'd found a doctor to assuage her fears over her brother's health. True to her word, Rachel knocked on the Captain's cabin door 20 minutes later, medical bag in hand. Tom ushered her into the cabin, which seemed so full with 5 people now crammed into a space that normally only held one, possibly 2 people.

"Dad, kids, this is Dr Rachel Scott, she invented the cure that saved your lives" Tom told them "I asked her to stop by and give Sammy the once over, if that's okay?"

Ashley nodded happily, pleased her father had taken her worries seriously, and who better to minister to her beloved brother than the doctor who'd invented the cure? Rachel smiled at the serious young teen, her heart going out to her – she knew all too well how it felt to lose a mother.

"Hi Ashley, Sam – I'm Dr Rachel, can you tell me what happened when you were ill?" She asked gently, smiling reassuringly. She quietly examined the young boy, taking great care to explain to the two children what she was doing, including them in everything she did. Jed watched the kindly young woman treating his grandson, and watching Tom's reactions to her. Tom had talked at length about this Doctor Scott and her search for the cure, his tone full of admiration and warmth for the woman, more than he'd have expected for someone who was a colleague. Jed knew his son, the man didn't have a cheating bone in his body and to have cheated on his beloved Darien would've been unthinkable. Yet as he watched the softly spoken British Doctor speaking to Sam, her tone quiet and respectful, his gut told him the woman was as principled as his son – however beautiful she was, this Doctor Rachel Scott was as principled as Tom, she was no home wrecker.

"Well, you seem fine little man – the Paracetamol seems to have brought your temperature down, and the nausea is fading according to your sister here" Rachel said, squeezing the little boy's hand reassuringly "Tom, did Sam have a similar reaction after his childhood vaccinations do you know?"

Tom and Jed looked over at each other, and Rachel could almost see the light bulb's go on over their heads. They both dropped their heads, before looking up at one another smiling.

"He did, you're right" Jed replied, shaking his head ruefully "How could I forget? Darien was nearly beside herself with worry, Sam was premature you see Doc"

"I remember her telling me about it - fever, vomiting, just like today" Tom replied, ruffling Sam's hair, as the little boy smiled up at his father. Rachel watched the interchange between the Chandlers, glad that at least _one_ family had survived the virus. As she stood to pack her things and leave the Chandlers to their privacy, a small hand reached to touch hers.

"Thank you Doctor Rachel, it was really nice of you to make sure my little brother's okay" Ashley said, smiling up at Rachel "Daddy, can Dr Rachel come with us to the galley for dinner please?"

"Sure sweet girl, that's a good idea – Rachel is that okay with you?" Tom smiled at them both, proud of his daughter for her good manners; it was something Darien had been insistent both children learned.

As they left to make the short trip to the galley, Tom couldn't help but think that despite the awful situation in Baltimore, not to mention the nagging uncertainty over his family's future, maybe things weren't so hopeless. His grief over Darien's loss still weighed heavily on his heart, and he knew it would be a while before it would no longer dominate his thoughts. Despite all that he had to be grateful for the lives of his father and children, not to mention friendship of the brilliant and beautiful doctor walking by his side, a friendship that was becoming increasingly important to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**SLOW BURN – CHAPTER 2**

Ashley made her way slowly down the p-way, following the directions Ava had given her to the lab in the Helo bay. It had been great to find someone her own age aboard the destroyer, and she was pleased Ava's mother had been able to find a house so close to their own in Norfolk. She'd also overheard Daddy and Grandpa saying it'd be good for their family to have a female influence following the loss of her mother, and to help Grandpa. Despite the fact Kelly, Ava's mother, was a nice person Ashley didn't find her to be the easiest person to talk to, hence her search for the lab. More specifically it was Dr Rachel Ashley wanted to find there, as she'd taken a shine to the British doctor and had found her far easier to talk to. They'd met at breakfast most days, as Ashley was an early riser, a habit she'd gotten into in order to spend some uninterrupted mother/daughter time with her mother. She loved her little brother, would do anything for him, but he could be quite demanding when he was around. Sammy wasn't a morning person, not one bit, and Ashley had discovered by getting up that little bit earlier she could grab some time alone to talk with her mother, just the two of them.

Rachel would never replace her beloved mother, Ashley knew that, but in the petite doctor she'd found a kindred soul who loved horses, books, and English tea! Even more, Rachel was a morning person and most importantly was easy to talk to, approachable, and willing to listen. In Rachel, Ashley had found a supportive friend she could take her concerns to – things you could only talk about to another woman. Kelly, for all her kindness, had not been someone Ashley could take to, or found to be particularly reassuring, and the teen hadn't found her a willing listener either. Rounding the corner to the lab, Ashley saw Rachel's sable brown head bent over her laptop and the soft hum of the lab equipment in the background.

"Dr Rachel? Is it ok to come in for a bit?" Ashley asked tentatively, smiling at the older woman.

"Hi Ash! Of course its ok sweet girl, come in, I was just about to stop for a cup of tea if you'd like to join me?" Rachel replied, knowing the teenager's love of tea.

Ashley grinned and stepped into the lab, making herself comfortable on the small sofa Rachel had recently appropriated for her use. She'd explained to Ashley over breakfast one morning that she had nowhere comfortable to sit should anyone stop by, not to mention Rachel often worked late and the sofa was a comfortable bed on the occasions she didn't make it back to her quarters. Noticing the photograph that formed Rachel's screensaver, the young girl looked more closely at the handsome man in the picture, stood with his arms around a smiling Rachel. Seeing the photograph made Ashley realise that in all their conversations, she'd never asked Rachel who _she_ was missing, where Rachel's family were – and it made the teen realise that she wasn't the only one to lose someone dear to them. Noticing Ashley's interest in Michael's photograph, Rachel walked over to the desk.

"His name is Michael, he was a journalist" She told the girl "We met when he did a feature on the CDC, and after the interview he asked me out". Rachel smiled at the memories the photo brought forth, they'd been together 3 years when that picture had been taken.

"Were you guys engaged or something?"" Ashley asked "You look really happy together"

"No, we weren't engaged - we were never in the same city long enough for things to get that serious, but we were very happy together, yes" Rachel replied, feeling a sharp pang of sadness for what could've been. She knew marriage had been in Michael's thoughts, he'd brought the subject up casually a few times, but Rachel herself had been too caught up in her career, and then the Red 'Flu had arrived.

It was ironic really, that the two men who had pursued her, Tex and Michael, weren't the one who she _could_ seriously see herself settling down with. The one Rachel truly wanted was, at the moment unavailable; Tom Chandler had captured her heart from the moment he'd introduced himself in this very Helo bay almost a year ago now. Rachel could see the heart wrenching grief over his wife's death in Tom's eyes, and knew he needed both the time and the space to work through it in his own way, she could only stand by and offer whatever support he'd accept.

"Here's your tea Dr Rachel, don't let it go cold" Ashley's voice broke into Rachel's musings, making the older woman smile.

"Yes mum" Rachel sassed back, causing the teen to giggle, a sound that was infectious and had her giggling along with the girl. She'd never met Darien Chandler, but to have created such a beautiful, spirited, and kind hearted girl as Ashley, she must have been a remarkable woman; no wonder Tom was grieving so hard.

The sound of their girlish laughter made Tom smile, relieved to have found his daughter safe and sound. The last few weeks had been hellish to say the least, and he knew he'd not been able to spend the time with his dad or his children that they really needed. That the children were as well adjusted as they were in no small part to the petite woman currently sharing a cup of tea (where Ashley had picked up that obsession he had _no_ idea! She'd not only managed to bond with Ashley, but had even managed to impress Sam with her knowledge of Premier League Soccer (football according to Rachel) and had even charmed his difficult to please father. Not for the first time, Tom wished it was Rachel that would be looking after the children and giving his father a helping hand rather than Kelly Tophet. Kelly was a kind hearted woman who had impressed Tom with her quiet, steady character and her devotion to her daughter Ava. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, to ask Kelly if she'd mind looking in on his family from time to time if he kept to his decision to rejoin the Nathan James, rather than resign his commission.

What caused Tom greatest concern was Kelly's increasingly personal interest in him, as right now he was in no fit state to even consider a relationship with another woman. If and when he was ready to enter into another relationship, it wouldn't be with a woman who uncannily reminded him of his deceased wife. To him, Darien had been one of a kind, irreplaceable in fact and he was a firm believer that what was in the past should stay there – Kelly would simply be a repeat of things past. He'd loved Darien, but he knew he had to let her go, somehow – starting anything with Kelly would, Tom believed; never allow him to move forward. He'd appreciated Rachel's steady, quiet support; she'd brought him coffee one evening, just as she had when informing him of her first breakthrough with the cure, and expressed her condolences, and then left him to his thoughts. She didn't overburden him with effusive sentiment, his Rachel, she wasn't like that – and that was the other thing causing him concern. His feelings for Rachel were anything but platonic, and only seemed to be growing with time, if he was honest with himself he'd been falling for her since the day they'd met. It caused him no end of guilt and confusion – how could he be falling for someone else when his beloved wife was barely cold in her grave? The inner debate was causing him many sleepless nights, and he'd purposely avoided Rachel until he'd worked through this maelstrom of emotion. If he and Rachel had any future together as a couple, he couldn't go to her a broken man; she deserved someone who would love her whole heartedly.

"Hey Dad!" Ashley called out; spotting her father in the shadows "I just wanted to talk to Dr Rachel for a bit"

"That's fine Ash, but next time, can you leave a note? Grandpa and I have been looking everywhere for you" He told his daughter, brushing a kiss over her cheek.

Rachel watched them together, her heart going out to them both. Tom was a devoted father; anyone could see that, his love for his kids shone through everything he did. Not for the first time, Rachel found herself wishing her own father had been as loving as Tom was.

"Hello Tom, it's good to see you" Rachel said softly "I've seen you so little lately, I wondered if you'd forgotten where the lab was" She gave him a teasing smile, chuckling quietly at his bashful expression.

"I haven't forgotten Rachel, just been a little preoccupied of late" Tom replied, feeling a little abashed, he could've dropped by to at least check in on her.

"It's ok Tom, I know you've had a lot to deal with lately, and without more supplies I've little to report" She told him, smiling warmly "If you've got to get back to the bridge, would you like me to walk Ashley back to your cabin?".

"Thanks, I'd be grateful if you could, Mike and I are still trying to shuffle personnel about to cover the crewmembers we lost" Tom returned "Be good for Rachel sweet girl, don't outstay your welcome ok?". With that he kissed Ashley goodbye, and left the way he'd come, before he betrayed his feelings for Rachel, before he'd had a chance to work out exactly _what_ those feelings were.

Rachel watched him go, wishing she could pull him into her arms and kiss his pain away. She was falling hard and fast for this proud, honourable man, and truth be told, she didn't want to stop herself. Right now though, Rachel knew he needed his space, needed time to grieve and work through the emotional storm she could see raging behind those beautiful ocean blue eyes. He'd come to her when he was ready, and if he didn't, she'd seek him out, it was a conversation they needed to have, but now was not the time.


	3. Chapter 3

**SLOW BURN – Chapter 3**

Standing in CIC, Tom watched the emotions on Rachel's face as she talked animatedly to one of the scientists at the secret Lab in Florida. He'd rarely seen her display so much emotion, Rachel was normally so reserved in public – in private or one on one, and she was a lot more forthright! The Florida lab had been on the list of secret labs they'd managed to recover from the White House Intel, and Dr Hunter was currently heading up the laboratory there.

"It's Dr Hunter, her mentor from Yale" Kara Foster murmured, clueing Tom into the identity of the scientist and his relationship to Rachel.

It relieved him to know the man was her mentor, he'd felt a stab of jealousy as he'd watched Rachel chatting excitedly, her hands waving in the air as they did when she was passionate about something. He knew they were just friends at the moment, but the thought that she might have a lover out there, that he could've missed his chance with her before he'd, as his father had put it "got his shit together", made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. Suddenly, her face fell, and it looked as if this Dr Hunter had told Rachel something that had upset her deeply, as she appeared to be struggling to contain her tears.

Quietly, Rachel ended the conversation with Julius Hunter, and whilst he'd confirmed really what she'd suspected all along, part of her had hoped against hope that she was wrong. She exited CIC, not really conscious of where she was going, her tears all but blinding her path. Rachel found herself outside CIC, by the viewing platform where she'd brought Tom some tea to celebrate her discovery. It was somewhere she knew they both still gravitated to when they needed to think, and they had shared many a late night conversation over coffee (or Tea in her case!). A gentle hand on her shoulder made Rachel jump, snapping her out of her thoughts, and bringing her face to face with the object of those reminiscences.

"Rachel, what's wrong? Please don't tell me it's nothing, we both know that's not true" Tom said softly, his hand tenderly caressing her cheek. For a moment, Rachel closed her eyes, and leaned into the gesture, taking comfort from this wonderful man she was slowly losing her heart to.

"Julius, I mean Dr Hunter, gave me some news about someone I was... close to, it was hard to hear, but I'd had my suspicions" Rachel looked down, before she continued "I'd hoped Michael had got my messages, but he didn't, I have to believe he's perished, along with so many others"

"You and this Michael were close?" Tom asked, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"We were, very close...I loved him" Rachel replied, struggling to hold back the storm of tears she could feel threatening to fall.

Tom could see she needed to let it out, and without stopping to consider regs or over think things, he pulled Rachel gently into his arms, cuddling her against his chest.

"It's ok Rachel, I've got you" He whispered into her ear, stroking her back as he would one of his children.

Rachel couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and she burst into tears, sobbing piteously against Tom's chest, weeping for her lost love. Tom hated hearing her sobs, hated seeing her in so much pain; he wanted nothing more than to wave a magic wand and heal her hurts, but he knew from personal experience that there was no magic cure for a broken heart. Eventually, the sobbing stopped, and Rachel stepped back, her tiny hands resting on Tom's forearms.

"It's a good job we're aboard a ship, I think I've cried enough tears lately to fill an ocean" Rachel said quietly "I'm tired of crying Tom, tired of losing so many good people"

"So am I, Rachel, so am I – but now we've got the labs up and running, the cure can be mass produced, maybe then we can celebrate" He said "Only would you mind if we drank a glass of wine instead of tea? That stuff just doesn't float my boat pardon the pun!"

Tom's comment, reminded Rachel of the night she'd brought him a cup of tea to celebrate her breakthrough with the cure. It was the first time she'd realised her feelings for the Nathan James's captain were becoming stronger than just that of friendship. Tom kept up a steady flow of inconsequential chatter as he walked her back to the lab, allowing Rachel to compose herself once more. As they walked, she cast a sideways glance at him, thinking once again why couldn't she have met him years ago, but then would her younger self have appreciated the compassionate, caring, intelligent man that he was? Once again Rachel felt the powerful tug of attraction to this wonderful man, perhaps one day they'd have the opportunity to explore the attraction that hummed between them like an electric current. She'd never forget that kiss they'd shared aboard Vyerni, could never forget the taste of him, or the feel of his hard, muscular body pressed against hers. Rachel wanted very much to feel that again, to be on the receiving end of such passion, feel his hands on her body, his mouth on hers – but only when the time was right, for both of them.

Hours later, when the triumph of finding the missing lab, the Hospital ship Solace, had been replaced by the mind numbing tragedy of losing the lab network almost in its entirety, Rachel felt like crying yet again. It felt like one step forward and two steps back. Every time they seemed to make progress in the battle to mass produce the cure, it felt as if they took yet another body blow. Having listened to the interrogation of the prisoner from Solace, and then the failed attempt to save him, and then the shattering revelation regarding the immunity to the virus, Rachel felt bewildered, unsure where they would go next. She was stood outside Tom's door, wondering how to tell him that the sub wasn't their only problem – that there was very likely a whole community of people out there who not only didn't need the cure, but didn't want anyone else to have it either. Rachel knocked on the door, hoping to catch Tom before he went to bed, but wishing she could leave her news till morning. That feeling was reinforced by Tom's reaction to the news and the realisation that their enemy not only had a vessel with devastating weaponry aboard, but no need to make land for fuel, like the James did. Rachel sighed, feeling so very tired, as if her limbs were made of lead. Just as she made to leave, Tom pulled her into a hug, just as he had following Julius's news about Michael. Rachel wrapped her arms around his body, and allowed herself to draw comfort and strength from his embrace, taking a moment out of time to simply enjoy the quiet company of another human being.

"Stay strong Rachel, we will defeat these people- and you will find a way to mass produce the cure - I have faith in you, in us, in this crew" Tom told her firmly "Have faith"

"When you say it like that, I can believe it, I'll try Tom, I promise" She replied, knowing she'd follow him to the ends of the earth if necessary.

"That's my girl" Tom said softly, and leaned down to kiss her cheek, lingering just near the corner of her mouth, and just long enough to let her know he meant the gesture to mean more than just comfort. Rachel smiled and stroked his face, before leaving Tom's quarters and returning to her own for some much needed sleep, and some very X-rated dreams of a certain navy captain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Slow Burn – Chapter 4**

Rachel stared at the furious man in front of her, staggered at the anger coming at her. What had happened to the man who'd held her as she'd wept over Michael's loss, who'd hugged her and told her they'd defeat this enemy with such certainty? Rachel barely recognised Tom these days, the hunt for the Achilles, their submarine nemesis, and perhaps his fear over the threat it represented seemed to be consuming him, turning him into someone totally removed from the Tom Chandler she'd been falling in love with. She was very much afraid that Master Chief Jeter had been right, that Tom was indeed becoming the Captain Ahab to the Achilles' Moby Dick. Eventually she'd had enough, tired of being Tom's whipping boy, she shouted back at him.

"Captain, have you forgotten why we're here?" Rachel roared "Find the cure, save the World? Remember?"

She just wanted to shake him senseless till his teeth rattled; hating the anger he was making her feel. Tired of the argument raging between them and of feeling like she was bashing her head against a brick wall, Rachel turned and marched out of the ward room without another word. Tom watched her go, hating the shock, anger and defeated sadness he'd seen reflected back in her expressive brown eyes, knowing he was the cause. The fear that his children, the crews families could be wiped out by these Immunes and their ballistic submarine, that he'd be helpless to stop their destruction as he had that of the labs left him shaking with a fear he'd never known before. That coupled with the loss of the chain of command, a resource he had relied on his entire professional life, and his confusion over his growing feelings for the woman who'd just frogmarched herself out of the room had Tom reeling with uncertainty and helplessness. He hated it, hated feeling so out of control, and hated the gut wrenching fear that was almost paralysing at times. He hadn't meant to take it out on poor Rachel, she had enough on her plate, trying to create more of the cure, and of coping with the fact she (and Milowsky when he got to grips with what Rachel had accomplished so far) was now the world's only hope again.

She'd just happened to walk in on him at one of his weakest moments, demanding, not unreasonably he thought with hindsight, that they go to Florida, to her mentor's lab in Palm Beach. He wanted to hunt down Achilles, eliminate the threat they represented, but Rachel had seen things differently. That the two other men in the room, Mike and Jeter, had backed Rachel hadn't surprised Tom. Their concerns over his pursuit of Achilles he knew had been succinctly put by Hugh Jeter, who hadn't minced his words; Mike had also quietly expressed his concerns, and had been far more supportive of Rachel and her mission of late. Hours later, Rachel walked back into the ward room, her back stiff with anger, eyes red from crying, clutching her laptop. She hadn't wanted to bring out the video of Julius's death, it had been unbearable watching it the first time, but if the grim footage would convince Tom to go to Florida, then she'd sit through it again. As the gruesome footage finished, Rachel looked up to see compassion in Tom's eyes and felt relief. He looked over at Slattery and Jeter, who both nodded their approval to his and Rachel's unspoken request; perhaps it was time to go to Florida. Watching that footage couldn't have been easy for Rachel, he knew from talking to her that Julius Hunter had been like a father to her, taking the young Rachel under his wing and teaching her the skills she'd needed to become the brilliant scientist and doctor she'd become. If Rachel Scott were the student, Tom mused, then Julius Hunter must have been a formidable teacher to have produced such a brilliant protégée – it was time to listen to her, he owed her that much.

The carnage they found in the Palm Beach lab was worse than anyone had expected, even for an experienced crew like the Nathan James's. It wasn't the violence that bothered them as much as the indiscriminate nature of it, and the fact that it was Americans killing Americans. The horrors of Baltimore were still fresh on everyone's minds, and it drove home once again how isolated they'd been aboard from the lawlessness, the almost total breakdown of law and order. They'd seen such things overseas, in warzones around the world – but none of them had ever expected to see it in their own backyard. That these people had been helpless scientists, not soldiers capable of defending themselves and putting up a fair fight bothered the crew still further. It was inconceivable to them that anyone would _want_ to destroy the cure –if you were immune, fair enough you didn't need it, but why destroy it? Why prevent those who weren't fortunate enough to be immune from getting the cure? Such a concept was beyond their comprehension, and the fact that this group of anti-cure immunes existed troubled everyone in the landing party.

Rachel walked through the ruins of the lab, marking things she wanted taking back to the ship. This lab was finished, but maybe some of their equipment could be put to good use by herself and Milowsky in their search for a more efficient version of the cure. When she walked into Julius's lab, saw his slain body lying in an undignified heap on the floor, Rachel sank to her knees in grief. Behind her, Tom could just about hear the almost imperceptible moan of distress Rachel made; only the presence of the other crewmembers stopped him from pulling her into his arms to comfort her.

"He was a giant amongst men" Rachel whispered, barely able to contain the sadness and rage she felt swirling like a hurricane inside her. Slowly she stood and turned to face Tom, and pinned him with a piercing look he'd never seen in her eyes before.

"When you find the people who did this Captain" Rachel hissed furiously " _Kill them_ ".

With that rage filled statement, Rachel turned and began photographing the white boards Julius had scribbled his research on in his final hours. Somewhere in this chaos was Julius Hunter's last gift to her, to mankind – he'd given his life for it, Rachel wasn't about to let his legacy end like this. Tom watched her work, admiring her drive and fierce desire to make something good come out of this carnage -she was truly remarkable. If Julius Hunter had been Rachel's teacher, then the man must indeed have been the giant Rachel called him to have produced such a gifted student as she was; Tom found himself wishing they'd been able to arrive that much sooner, he'd liked to have met the man.

"Sir? Sir, it's time to go" Burk said quietly "We don't know if the hostiles are still in the area, XO Slattery feels it would be safer for Dr Scott to be back aboard"

Tom nodded, now more than ever they needed to guard Rachel Scott like a hawk, especially with the loss of the lab network. She was now their most precious resource and no chances could be taken with her well being or safety. Rachel would hate the restrictions on her freedom – there'd be explosions aplenty, and he felt regret that he would be leaving Mike to face the onslaught of Rachel's temper. These immunes seemed to always be one step ahead of them, and Tom hated the fact they always seemed to be reacting not acting. He'd come to the decision that they needed to track these rats back to their lair, they had to have a land base nearby – their findings amongst the ruins of the lab supported that conclusion loud and clear. Just as Rachel and her escorts were about to return to the Nathan James, Rachel approached him, motioning him to step out of sight of the helo crew.

"I know you feel you have to do this, chase these people back to whatever hell hole they came from, but promise me one thing" Rachel said softly, reaching a hand up to caress his face, sadness filling her eyes. In that moment, Tom would have promised her anything to remove the pain and sadness from her chocolate brown eyes.

"Name it Rachel" He replied, his fierce blue gaze never leaving hers.

"Come back to me, there's so much more we need to say to each other you and I, but I know this needs to be done, so please ... _be safe!_ " She whispered, placing a kiss at the corner of his mouth, lingering just as he had that night in his cabin. Tom pulled her into a quick embrace, holding her tightly for a brief moment, before releasing her slowly.

"I'll do my best, I promise, and yes when I get back, we do need to talk – don't give Mike too much grief ok?" Tom said, smiling at her slightly rueful smile.

Rachel nodded and walked away, scrambling into the waiting helo before looking back at Tom as he stood with the rest of the hunting party. She raised a hand in farewell, noting Tom's return gesture and the amused look on Tex's face as he noted their unspoken exchange; she just prayed they all made it back safely.


	5. Chapter 5

**SLOW BURN - Chapter 5**

Rachel stormed down the p-way, not caring or looking if her guard were following her, and paying little heed to anyone unfortunate enough to get in her way. Reaching her stateroom she wrenched open the door and slammed the heavy door closed with as much force as she could muster, before collapsing on her bed and giving way to the storm of rage, pain, grief, and fear she felt. The tears rolled down her face as she shook with the force of her emotions – she'd known when she'd chosen, yes, _chosen_ to kill Niels Sorensen that there'd be a price to pay, but dear god, she'd never dreamed it would be this heavy. She replayed the conversation with Tom, no _Captain Chandler_ as she must think of him now, hearing over and over the cold, awful words he spoke, the total lack of compassion as he uttered her sentence. The isolation from the common area's she could take, when she'd first stepped aboard the Nathan James nearly 6 months ago she'd willingly isolated herself, not wanting to look these good people in the eyes, knowing what she had and being forbidden to tell them. The fact that she was to be handed over to whatever passed for civilian authority for her "crimes", forgetting all that she had done to save _million, millions who would be DEAD but for her,_ that terrified her. Rachel had seen the awful reality that was America these days – however much of a monster Amy Granderson had been, she hadn't exaggerated just how bad it was out on the streets. The little Rachel had witnessed with her own eyes had left her reeling in abject horror at the lawlessness, the sheer lack of human feeling in the behaviour of those left to scrabble for survival on Baltimore's streets. That Tom, for she couldn't think of him as anything else, would willingly hand her over to _that_ – Rachel sobbed anew in fear.

When Tom had first come to her 2 days ago, Rachel had been furious that Patient Zero (she refused to dignify him with a name!) had survived, even worse, was on the ship she now called home! It had been all Rachel could do to keep her tone even, and hold a civil discussion with Tom – and she had flat out _refused to have anything to do with that monster!_ Until Tom had uttered the words he'd known she'd never be able to ignore, nor the hidden request behind it "He killed my wife, and I could talk to him" – in other words "If I can, Rachel, you can – I insist, he killed my wife!" When she'd heard those words, Rachel knew she'd do as he asked; she was unable to refuse him anything. She'd stomach working with Sorensen, make nice with him, flatter him if necessary – if it meant getting the airborne cure produced quicker. Rachel hadn't realised just how hard it would be - the man's overweening ego, the narcissistic smugness of the man had made Rachel sick to her stomach, but even worse was to come when he began _flirting with her!_ That Sorensen could even _think_ she'd be interested in a man like him made her boil with rage! He couldn't hold a candle to Tom Chandler, the mere thought made Rachel laugh, hell he couldn't even compare to sweet, gentle Michael and as for Julius Hunter, well Niels Sorensen was _nothing_ compared to him! It became clearer as the hours had gone by that Niels wasn't going to give up the information on how he'd made himself so contagious, how he'd bound his gene's to that of the virus, without something more _personal_ from her. It still made Rachel sick to think of it, that she'd unburdened herself to man she despised, hated, and loathed – had almost kissed him, god it made her want to scrub herself raw with barbed wire even now just to get rid of the way she felt so dirty, soiled by the _thought of something so intimate with such a man!_ She'd known, after she'd gotten the information she'd needed that murdering him, yes she knew it was murder, wasn't necessary, but she was so close to the edge emotionally that when he'd given her the valuable Intel she'd needed, said it with such pride, all Rachel could see, hear, taste were the screams of pain, the agonies of death from the countless victims she'd witnessed since this awful crisis had begun. That those victims numbered amongst them her beloved Michael, her dear mentor Julius, indeed 4 billion good people dead at the hands of this sick, twisted parody of a man, made Rachel decide that death was the _minimum he deserved!_ She'd nearly backed out of it, had almost thought better of it, until he'd started to talk about Michael, saying that she, Rachel, had tired of him because he couldn't keep up with her intellectually. Niles had kept going, saying that she was the unstoppable force seeking an immoveable object that Sorensen had laughably thought he could be – had made her snap.

She'd abandoned the very principles she'd sworn to uphold, had spent a lifetime adhering to, defended with passionate zeal - " _First Do No Harm!"_ It staggered her even now that she'd done it; it was like looking at someone else's actions through a dark, distorted mirror. However much she'd hated and despised Niels Sorensen, it wasn't worth the price she was paying now, and would pay in the days and weeks to come. Until now, she hadn't realised how much she cared for the friendship, the camaraderie, the sense of family she'd found with the crew of the Nathan James. Despite their initial anger over her secrecy about the virus, her actions in the following months, the hope she'd brought them all with her discovery of the cure had led them to include her, welcome her into their family, and she'd cherished it! Worse though, was the loss of Tom's love, the possibility that they could become something more to one another than just friends. That brought on a fresh wave of tears, and Rachel gave herself over to the grief once more, until she cried herself to sleep.

Out in the p-way, Cruz listened with a heavy heart to the tears of the woman that like many onboard, he'd come to admire and respect. Cruz agreed with ship's scuttlebutt, when he'd heard Rachel had offed the creep the Captain and Vulture team had brought back along with POTUS, he'd quietly celebrated. The man had killed his and just about everybody else's families – that the Doc had killed the bastard with the very virus he'd weaponised, seemed like Karma to Julio Cruz, fitting even. He understood why they'd had to have an investigation, had understood too why the Doc had to be punished – however much of a bastard the creep was, you couldn't just take the law into your own hands. But to hand her over to civilians? The woman who'd almost single handedly saved the crew, hell saved mankind, to whatever passed for a civilian court? Cruz, like Rachel, had been horrified at the lawless wasteland his beloved American homeland had become. He couldn't stomach the thought of handing over the petite woman he'd listened cry herself to sleep to such an uncertain fate, a fate Cruz knew wouldn't be kind to Rachel Scott.

Back in the ward room, Tom scrubbed his face in the sink, trying to wash away the feeling he'd just killed something precious. He'd been almost incandescent with rage when Mike had told him what had become of Niels Sorensen – not because he felt any genuine liking for the man. Sorensen was a narcissistic megalomaniac, not capable of any genuine emotion in Tom's opinion, save his obsession with Rachel Scott. That Tom could totally understand, the woman had come to dominate his own thoughts so much of late, she had that effect did Rachel. He'd been less than enamoured of her when she'd first come aboard, had found her standoffish, cold even. How wrong he'd been! When the truth about the virus had come out, and her role in the search for the cure with it, Tom had discovered just how passionate Rachel Scott could be in her search for the cure. She'd worked herself tirelessly, almost forgoing sleep until he'd practically ordered her to rest and eat properly. Tom had found himself getting to know a person he'd grown to admire, like, and now yes love. That she'd proven herself capable of such an act as murder had stunned Tom, he knew Rachel hated Sorensen, loathed him even, but murder? Tom found himself unable to reconcile the horrified woman he'd had to delicately disarm aboard the Vyerni, a woman who'd been shocked to the core when she'd been forced to kill the Russian sailor to save her own life, with the woman who'd cold bloodedly murdered a man.

Had he been so wrong about Rachel? Could he have misjudged her so very badly? He didn't think he was – but he had a sinking sensation that he and the rest of the command staff had truly failed to notice how close to the edge Rachel was. That she'd abandoned her principles as a Doctor and committed such a heinous crime made Tom feel that as wrong as Rachel had been to commit murder, he wondered if she would have done so had he not emotionally blackmailed her into working with the creep. Knowing how she felt about Sorensen, Tom knew he should've ordered Rios to take charge of his medical care, and kept Rachel well away from his IV's, thus negating her ability to do what she had. He was furious with her, furious that she'd flouted the rules and disrespected him, furious that she'd backed him into a corner the way she had! As if things weren't stressful enough with trying to deprogram POTUS, fight the Ramsay's, and now the propaganda battle Tom didn't even know _how the hell_ he was going to fight without evidence to prove their side of the story made him want to shake Rachel senseless! He knew, despite his words to her, that he couldn't hand her over to a civilian authority, or a court – they simply didn't exist! Plus, like Rachel, he'd seen in Baltimore and now Florida, the lawless landscape their once proud country had become. From a sheer practical point of view, Rachel was not just their only expert on the Red Flu but following the destruction of the lab network, but could well be the only living virology expert _anywhere!_ Practicality aside, Tom also knew he could never hand over the woman he loved to those who could well order her execution – he couldn't stomach that. Tom felt like his head was going to explode, and knew he needed another solution, but damned if he could see what it was right now.

 **One Week Later**

Tom awoke groggily from the surgery he'd just been through and looked across the small side room he'd been placed in to see Rachel curled up in a chair someone had obviously fetched her. In fact, it looked suspiciously like the ward room chairs – but it had been turned into Rachel's temporary bed, and she looked drained. He ran his mind over the events of the last day - and felt again the misery and loss of those four fine sailors. Particularly hard to stomach were the losses of Andy Chung, Andrea Garnett's bright, kind hearted second in command and Ravit Bivas, the Israeli soldier had become a valued part of their team, for all that she'd only been with them 3 weeks. When he'd woken up from the initial surgery Rachel had done following his collapse after their return from Valkyrie's rig, he'd been devastated when Rachel had told him of their losses, and his blood had run cold when she'd told him he'd nearly become number 5. One of his greatest fears was still that he could leave his children orphaned, with only Kelly Tophet to assist his elderly father in raising them. That Rachel had worked so tirelessly to save his life, even after the awful events following Niels Sorensen's death and their subsequent estrangement, had touched Tom deeply, and had begun put out the fire of his anger.

He knew that Rachel had run herself into the ground to save his life - Rios had confirmed it, had said she had been like a thing possessed, such was her refusal to even contemplate his death. Tom spoken quietly to Rios and asked him to bring POTUS to his bedside; Rios hadn't asked why, but had merely nodded in approval. Like many aboard, Rios had disapproved of the severity of Rachel's punishment - everyone aboard had understood the need for _some_ form of punishment, but hand the saviour of mankind over to _civilians?_ It just didn't bear thinking about, and many had quietly let him know, via the Master Chief, even the XO, that they were vehemently against handing Rachel over. Even Milowsky, who had been the one to highlight that Rachel was the only one capable of killing Sorensen they way he'd been killed, had protested. The worst had been Bertrise, who had come to see Tom herself, begging and pleading for her mentor's forgiveness just before they'd set off for the rig. His anger over her actions had already begun to cool, and a long chat with Jeter had made Tom realise that punishing Rachel in such a way for her actions over Sorensen was a little hypocritical given his own relentless pursuit of the Ramsay's. Moreover, Jeter had made Tom realise, in that gentle non-judgemental manner he had, that part of Tom's fury had been caused by his fear of losing Rachel to the virus, when she'd confessed to injecting herself. Not only that, Jeter had pointed out that realising Rachel was less than perfect, that his love had feet of clay, had been a shock to him.

" _You already felt guilty for moving on after your wife died, realising the woman you'd fallen in love with was mortal after all? Must have been a shock" Jeter had said quietly._ It never ceased to amaze Tom just how perceptive Russ Jeter was, and how lacking in judgement he was of others, how accepting.

Rachel had berated him for his stubbornness in refusing to undergo the further surgery immediately, and the ensuing banter between them had felt to Tom like a return of their previous closeness. When he'd looked into her eyes, uttered those loaded words of thanks, he'd known he was _never, ever_ going to hand her over ! Despite everything, Tom knew he loved her far too much, and judging by the warm, yes loving gaze Rachel returned, that he wasn't alone in his feelings. She'd reached out a hand to him, one he'd grasped eagerly and had pulled her back into his arms (gently, given his wounds!), savouring the feel of her tiny frame pressed against his.

"I promise, when the memorial is over I'll go under the knife again, and you can get that shrapnel out" he'd whispered in Rachel's ear, as he'd continued to hold her "and I want you to know, I've petitioned POTUS for a presidential pardon – after everything you've done, it's the least you deserve"

"Is that the only reason Tom?" Rachel had replied, looking him squarely in the eye.

"No, I...dammit I refuse to hide what I feel!" he'd shot back "I care about you Rachel, you've come to mean so much to me...I can't, _won't_ let you go".

Rachel had stared at him and just nodded, burrowing her face in his neck for a moment, before assisting him to dress and walk down to the chapel, or what passed for one aboard ship. Hours later, here he was, laid up in bed, Tom hated being weak, sick, helpless! Tom was a realist though, and he also knew his crew needed a Captain that was at the top of his game if they were to beat the Ramsay's, and the surgery was necessary, vital.

"She hasn't left your side, you know, not once" the gruff voice of his XO, Mike Slattery broke into Tom's revere "I tried ordering her to go eat, stubborn woman just stared me down!"

Tom just smiled at the thought of tiny, petite Rachel facing down all 6ft 4 in of Mike, like a Chihuahua facing down a Rottweiler – but it was clear his XO felt more than a grudging respect for Rachel.

"Damn, you too?" He asked Mike, who had the grace to look slightly abashed, smiling ruefully as he looked down at the sleeping Rachel.

"She has a way of...getting under your skin...so yeah, I love her...but not the way you do" Slattery replied "Rachel's like the sister I never had, and besides, she'd never give me the time of day even if I did love her that way, there's only ever been you for her"

Tom stared at his XO and long time friend, startled at the man's perception – had they been that transparent in their emotions? Mike noted the deer-in-the-headlights look his friend gave him and laughed.

"No, you weren't that transparent, but every now and then, usually when the two of you thought no-one was looking, you'd look at one another other as if you were each other's everything" Mike told him "I know you think that part of you has betrayed Darien, but you didn't, and I knew Darien well enough to say she'd be happy to know you've found someone to love, she'd hate to think you were alone, had no-one"

"Thanks Mike" Tom said "you're right, Darien would never want to think she was the reason I was miserable, she was too generous, too kind hearted for that"

"So talk to her Tom, you both need to find your peace with each other" Slattery told him "You're better together, stronger – oh and POTUS dropped this off whilst you were out, gotta say, glad you asked for the pardon, 'cause she deserves it, was gonna ask myself, but you beat me to it"

Mike nodded, and gently readjusted the blankets around Rachel's sleeping form, before giving his captain and friend a nod and then left, leaving Tom alone with Rachel. Tom watched her sleep, holding the paper in his hand that had Rachel's official pardon on it – waiting for her to wake from her much deserved slumber.


	6. Chapter 6

**Slow Burn – chapter 6**

Tom decided then and there, he _hated_ hospitals, or sickbays, hated them with a mortal passion. After the successes of the last few weeks, sinking the Ramsay's and their goddamn sub, not to mention the sheer joy of _finally_ spreading the cure to the American public, Tom had finally believed they were over the worst of things and could look to rebuilding their once proud country. The Inaugural Ball had been something else, along with his promotion and the engagement of Lieutenants Green and Foster had crowned off a glorious evening. He'd even persuaded Rachel to dance with him; she'd looked simply stunning in the black, lace dress she'd borrowed from the Judge's daughter he'd learned later.

Holding her in his arms, feeling Rachel's slender, feminine form against his had been sheer heaven. They'd begun the dance in such a formal pose, Rachel had started laughing, explaining when he'd raised an eyebrow that it felt as if they were back in high school. As the dance had progressed they'd drawn closer and closer, until he could feel her breath on his neck, and Rachel had had to fight the urge to rest her head on Tom's shoulder. Their feelings for one another might be the worst kept secret to those crew, friends, and family members who knew them well, but the proprieties had to be observed. Both were such public figures, and given their positions in the fledgling administration, alongside Tom's position as a Navy commander, reputation was all. To the world at large, Tom was still a grieving widower, he and Rachel understood that their newfound relationship would have to remain hidden for now.

When Rachel had come to see him just before she flew off on her tour of the mid-west, to spread the cure at POTUS's orders, they'd even flirted outrageously – Tom had thought he'd forgotten how, but this glorious creature had inspired him. He'd wanted so badly to kiss her, especially as she'd been due to head off on the "Cure Tour" as Mike had insisted on christening it – the Cure wasn't going to spread itself as both Rachel and the President kept reminding them. That plan, as with his own for them, had been viciously halted by an assassin's bullet; fortunately the shooter had either panicked or simply been incompetent. The shooter had shot only once and had hit Rachel's shoulder, doing considerable damage but not a fatal shot thankfully.

"I can't lose you now Rachel _,_ please sweetheart – fight for me, for us!" Tom whispered brokenly "I can't do this without you, I don't want to – _I love you so much Rachel, come back to me love!"_

Despite his heartfelt plea, Rachel remained in the coma she'd been in since the lifesaving surgery she'd needed following the assassination attempt. Rios, Milowsky, and Jackson (the surgeon who'd assisted with Rachel's surgery) all told him it was the body's way of allowing Rachel to heal from the massive trauma inflicted on her, and she'd wake up when she was ready to. It seemed bitterly ironic that he was sat here waiting for her to wake up, as they'd been here like this 2 weeks ago, but then he'd been the patient.

 **Flashback – 2 weeks prior:**

Tom watched Rachel as she slept, wishing she was asleep next to him, so he could savour the feeling of holding her in his arms, and the scent of vanilla he'd come to associate with Rachel. Even in sleep Rachel had the power to captivate him, Tom thought and he didn't care one whit, he was falling fast for her, enjoying every second of the fall.

"Please tell me you haven't been watching me drool into my pillow Tom" Rachel muttered sleepily "Not really seeing me at my best here"

Tom just laughed at her, watching as she stretched like a cat, unfurling her slender legs and trying to comb her unruly locks into some semblance of order with her fingers.

"Can I help it if you're as beautiful asleep as you are awake?" Tom replied, smiling at the blush that coloured her cheeks and crept down her neck at his words.

Rachel knew she was blushing, but when the man you've been falling for and thought you'd lost your chance with tells you you're beautiful, well anyone would blush! She felt like skipping round the room in joy, but did none of those things; instead she busied herself in checking her patient over, whilst she tried desperately to calm her racing heart.

"Rachel stop" Tom's voice halted her examination as she looked up and felt her heart begin racing again as she beheld the look in his eyes "I meant what I said yesterday, I won't hide what I feel for you anymore, I'm falling fast for you, and I couldn't be happier about it"

Rachel smiled at him, not caring if she was grinning like a loon back at him.

"I...I feel the same way Tom" She replied huskily "I've been falling for you for so long, but I tried to respect that you needed time to grieve"

"I know Rachel, and I thank you for it, but I'm ready to move forward now" he replied softly, cupping her face with one hand tenderly "I want to see where this goes, if you're willing?"

Tom held his breath, hoping she'd say yes. They'd been through so much, from battling the Russians, finding the Cure, the Immunes, and worst of all Niels Sorensen, the one person who'd come perilously close to breaking them. He knew they needed to talk about it, he needed to know what had driven her to it. Tom knew that for them to have any future together there could be no more secrets, no more ghosts.

"I want that too, but I need to explain something to you Tom, I won't have it standing between us, have _him_ standing between us" Rachel said, a look of both determination and uncertainty etched across her face.

"Sorensen" Tom said, even the name left a foul taste in his mouth.

"I _did_ kill him, I won't lie to you, but you have no idea of the price he wanted for his help Tom" Rachel began, not quite knowing how to explain "He could've come forward at any time, could've given the information to anyone, even anonymously – but he didn't, Tom, he was _proud of what he'd done!"_

Tom stared at Rachel with mounting horror, please god she couldn't mean what he thought she did. Rachel didn't miss the look that crossed Tom's face, and shook her head.

"No Tom, he didn't touch me, not like that" she whispered "In the end, the promise of it was enough for him to spill his guts, but it left me feeling soiled, dirty"

He watched her pace, hugging herself as if in an effort to protect herself from Sorensen's ghost, even dead the damned man polluted the very air.

"As I said, he was proud of his actions, gloated over it, and as I listened to him crow over it, all I could see, hear, smell even were the people who'd died for his vanity, he could've saved them Tom, but he betrayed everything we as Doctors are supposed to hold dear!" Rachel said furiously" _First Do No Harm!_ He took the same oath as I did and betrayed it for pride! I know I did the same, I know I did harm, and if I could have that time back, I'd make a different choice, if only to avoid this awful distance between us!"

"Rachel..." Tom started, but one look from Rachel's pleading eyes silenced him. He could sense she needed to exorcise these memories, tell him the truth that at the time, he just hadn't been ready to hear.

"When he started gloating, I...I just ... Snapped! I injected the DNA scissors into his IV and watched as his own creation took his life, just as it had taken 5 billion others" Rachel hung her head, the tears beginning to run silently down her cheeks "I very much regret what I did that day Tom, you have no idea how much, I feel as I've been tainted by him, I thought I'd lost your friendship, and a chance at something more"

Tom reached over and took her hand, pulling her into his arms gently so as to avoid his surgical wound. He enveloped her in his embrace, tucking her head under his chin just as he had the night she'd found the first cure. He waited as her tears fell, stroking her back until the tears stopped, allowing him to pull back and cradle her face in his hands.

"Rachel, I'm not going to pretend that what happened didn't infuriate me, but I had no idea he'd pressured you into such an offer, even if you never had to make good on it" Tom told her "The fact you felt you had to upsets me more than you'll ever know, and if I'm totally honest with myself, I know damn well I shouldn't have forced you to work with him!"

"Tom, I could've said no..." Rachel went to reply but Tom cut her off.

"I never gave you the chance sweetheart" Tom said sadly "I told you he'd killed Darien, emotional blackmail in anyone's book, knowing damn well you wouldn't refuse any request I made after that, can you forgive me?"

Rachel looked into his eyes, those beautiful blue orbs that had captured her heart back in the helo bay all those months ago. She nodded and smiled at him, deciding to let go the ghosts that had haunted her and build a new future with this man, the one who still held her heart.

"Let's forgive each other Tom" Rachel replied softly "We've both made mistakes, legions of them, but what doesn't break us can make us stronger, let the ghosts go"

"I can't think of anything I'd like more, except one thing" Tom replied, enjoying the look of confusion on her face, it was adorable in his opinion.

"What's that?" Rachel asked, puzzled.

"This" Tom said, pulling her in for their first real kiss. He took advantage of her gasp of surprise to slip his tongue into her mouth, tasting her as if she were a fine wine. Rachel responded eagerly, returning his kiss, making love to him with her mouth as she longed to do with her body. In the end, it was the need for air that drove them apart, foreheads resting against one another's as they fought to regain control.

 **Present day:**

Tom remembered that kiss as if it were yesterday, not 2 weeks ago, remembered the new, stronger relationship they'd begun to build as she'd taken advantage of the pardon Michener had granted her. Their newfound feelings had even survived the explosion of temper that had come his way when she'd found she was to accompany the landing party, and be sent to safety whist the Nathan James battled the Achilles out in the bay, a duel to the death. Fortunately for him, Rachel had been too glad to see him alive and share in her delight over the successful, if unplanned, trial of her contagious cure to hang onto her temper. They'd planned and strategized - herself, Mike, the President, Jeter – planned how to distribute the Cure, rebuild a broken nation. It had felt so good to be united with her, working towards a common, shard goal – they'd always been far stronger together. Those weeks had allowed him to "court" Rachel as his Dad had put it in one late night vid-call, enjoying the opportunity to get to really know the fascinating little sprite he was falling in love with. Rachel too had delighted in the chance to get to know Tom, to really see the man behind the uniform, behind the Captain's mask – she was falling deeper in love with him every day. It had been worth it all; even putting up with Tex's merciless teasing, as Rachel knew he'd been a good supportive friend when she'd needed him.

It tore him apart that he'd never had the chance to tell Rachel out loud how he felt, something Tom vowed he'd never, _ever_ stop telling her when she woke up. It was the pressure of her hand squeezing his that told Tom she'd finally woken up, that he'd been speaking aloud.

"You...you promise me you'll do that?" Rachel croaked her voice dry from disuse, and the oxygen she'd needed to heal. "Tell me now Tom, tell me how you feel"

"I .love you Rachel Mary Scott, I love you... with every beat of my heart" Tom told her, his tone coloured with the strength of his love "I promise you, I'll tell you every day how much, I promise!"

Tom took the hand he'd been clutching so tightly and kissed it, before leaning over her and kissing her lips briefly, gently, just to prove his words.

"I love you too Thomas Bryce Chandler, more than words can say" Rachel replied "I prayed you'd find me, and you came, I knew you would"

They smiled at one another, before Rachel's eyes closed in exhaustion, and Tom sat by her bedside, sleeping in the armchair someone had scrounged for the handsome Navy captain who refused to leave his beloved's side. The nurses had watched this couple, and had prayed for the pretty British Doctor's recovery, knowing that _all of them had a future_ , because of Rachel Scott. They prayed she'd have her happy ending, she and the handsome sailor who was so devoted to her. It was how Jed and the children found them the next day; having heard of Rachel's shooting, none of the Chandler's had wanted to rest until they'd seen firsthand for themselves that Rachel was alive.


	7. Chapter 7

**Slow Burn – Chapter 7**

Jed walked into Rachel's hospital room, spotting Tom still asleep in the armchair, his fingers laced through Rachel's. He was shocked at the state of them both, Tom had bags under his eyes the size of packing trunks and Rachel was pale as a sheet, evidence if it were needed of the blood loss she'd sustained as a result of her shooting. Ashley and Sam cast fearful glances at the pair and their Grandfather, looking for reassurance from someone that their father and the woman whose company they'd come to enjoy would be ok. Jed noticed the uneasy glances the children had cast between the sleeping pair and himself, and bent down to their level, enveloping them both in a hug.

"Hey now, quit worrying!" Jed told them firmly "Your dad and Rachel are two of the strongest people we know; they're going to be just fine"

"But Grandpa, someone _shot_ Rachel!" Ashley replied "She...she looks so small, so pale"

"I know sweetie – but I spoke to the Doctors on our way in, they said Rachel's regained consciousness, and she's doing really well" He returned "Sure, she's going to need blood transfusions, and a lot of physio, but she's a tough cookie!"

"But what about Dad?" Sam asked, still worried

"Rachel's a good friend of your Dad's, and he's been really worried about her" Jed told the boy "He's just tired, and he's not long had surgery himself, probably pulled a few stitches saving Rachel, but he'll be fine – Doc Rios said they'd checked him out after Rachel was out of surgery"

The children nodded, apparently reassured for now and walked over to the sleeping pair, touching them gently, being careful not to jostle Rachel's injured shoulder. Tom stirred and smiled broadly as he saw who'd wakened him, hugging the two children firmly, before standing and repeating the gesture with his father.

"Boy am I glad to see you guys, when did you arrive?" Tom said happiness colouring his tone as he hugged the three of them again, as if needing the reassurance they were really there.

"We got the first transport we could outa Norfolk, Mike saw to that, knew we'd be worried once we heard the news" Jed replied, watching the consternation on Tom's face.

"News? Word's got out already?" Tom asked incredulously, surprised to hear than even with communication still so spotty in places, that news of the assassination attempt on Rachel had already reached the East Coast.

"The Ham radio network's been busy, you guys aboard the James? You're heroes to most people now" Jed told him "Folk have been stopping by the hospital asking for news apparently"

Tom sat down, Ashley and Sam still wrapped in his arms as he took in the news that he and his crew had become "celebrities" of a sort, and heartened by people's concern for Rachel. He hoped that the news would encourage someone to reveal the shooter's location, although given he'd barely left Rachel's side since the shooting, the man could've been tried, convicted, and sentenced by now for all he knew.

"Have they caught the shooter? Mike hasn't been by, so I just assumed he was co-ordinating the hunt?" Tom asked "I've not left Rachel since the surgery, didn't want her waking up alone"

Jed could see the love in his son's eyes, and it gladdened his heart to see it; he'd noticed Tom was opening up more about Darien's death, and had told him he'd had his own "funeral" in private for her. It meant Tom was finally letting go of his grief, and was ready to begin the process of moving on, his son wasn't a man meant to be alone. Jed had taken a liking to the feisty British Doctor when he'd had the chance to speak to her, and listening to his son speaking about Rachel in their weekly chats, he knew Tom cared deeply for Rachel, deeper than even Tom had realised.

"Yeah son they got him – he was tried, sentenced, and convicted pretty quickly, the President didn't want it dragging on" Jed replied "Not sure how legal a trial it was, but I'm not sure many folks cared"

"I certainly don't, spares me the ordeal of having to testify against him" A scratchy voice piped up, causing every head on the room to swing in her direction. Tom smiled tenderly; glad to hear her voice, rusty as it was from disuse.

"Morning sleeping beauty" he said softly, caressing her face gently, he would've said more but two small voices interrupted him excitedly.

"Doctor Rachel!" Sam and Ashley cried in unison "You're awake!" The two children dashed over to Rachel's bedside and hugged her gently, being careful not to knock Rachel's injured shoulder.

"Hello luv's!" Rachel said, genuinely touched they'd come to see her. "How are you? I swear you've both grown!"

She'd taken a shine to Tom's two children, especially Ashley who reminded her a lot of herself at that age. All except for their father – not for the first time she wished her own parent had possessed half the parenting skills Tom Chandler did.

"I've grown a whole 2 inches!" Sam crowed happily, beaming.

"Have you indeed? Well perhaps your Grandpa had better cook for me then, help me get better quicker" Rachel replied, ruffling Sam's hair affectionately.

"I'm glad you're ok Dr Rachel, maybe I can come back tomorrow and read the rest of Pride and Prejudice with you? We never did get to finish it" Ashley said hopefully, smiling happily.

"Well if you can get your Dad or Grandpa to bring you over sweet girl, I'd love to – good company and a good story will pass the time better than counting spots on the wall!" Rachel joked, enjoying the sound of Ashley's childish laughter.

"Sweetheart, I'm real glad to see you're going to be ok – and I'd be happy to bring Ash over, if you're sure it won't be too much?" Jed told her, glad to see Rachel awake and talking.

Rachel returned Jed's smile, thinking how different the Chandlers were to her own dysfunctional family. She was truly touched at the way they'd seemingly adopted her into their circle, and the sincerity of their affection for both her and each other.

"I'd love the company, it will be a refreshing change from the physioterrorist's I understand will be gracing me with their tender ministrations" Rachel said, not looking forward to the promised visit of the physiotherapists Tom had quietly informed her would be coming to oversee her recovery now she was awake.

"Dad, kids, Rachel needs her rest and you guys still need to unpack" Tom reminded them "Say your goodbye's kids, you can come back and visit tomorrow ok?"

"Ok Dad – bye Dr Rachel, see you tomorrow" the children chorused as they followed a smiling Jed out of the hospital room. Tom returned a few minutes later, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Rachel, I need to take my Dad and the kids to our new house – they're exhausted from the flight and don't know St Louis at all" Tom told her ruefully "I'll be back as soon as they're settled. Kara, Danny, and Bertrise said they'll be coming to visit in about an hour, will you be ok till then?"

Rachel smiled and reached out a hand to squeeze his, trying to quell the rising sense of fear she felt, unable to grasp where it had come from.

"I'll be fine Tom, Nurse Thomas and her colleagues are right outside, and I've got my call bell if I need anything" she replied, waving the call bell in Tom's direction " I'll be just fine"

Tom nodded, noting uneasily the panicky look he'd seen so briefly in Rachel's eyes, it made him wonder what psychological scars Rachel would have from her attack. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, resting his forehead against hers for a moment, before stepping back and walking out of the room. Rachel closed her eyes and touched her fingers to her lips, which were tingling from Tom's kiss and delighting in the giddy, joyful feelings coursing through her body. It was these emotions she tried to cling onto, rather than the sense of fear, unease, and helplessness that kept threatening to overwhelm her. They made her feel as if she needed to be on guard, against what Rachel couldn't say, her attacker according to Jed had been caught, and the guard who had been so briefly withdrawn had been swiftly replaced along with another. She recognised both Miller and Wolf from the James's crew, so no-one else would even get close enough to harm her whilst she was recuperating. Rachel picked up her copy of Pride and Prejudice, well thumbed from many re-readings, but found herself unable to concentrate on the story she normally found herself able to lose herself in easily. When Danny, Kara, and Bertrise finally arrived after an hour, Rachel would've leapt out of the bed to greet them had her legs not been so weak from disuse.

"Hi Doc, good to see you awake!" Danny hugged her gently, followed swiftly by Kara and Bertrise, both of whom had tears of joy in their eyes.

"Geez gang, do I look that bad that its making you cry? And Its Rachel, please – Kara I can't believe how big you've gotten! You're blooming sweetheart!" Rachel laughed, happy to see the three people she considered to be her closest friends aboard the James, after Tom and Tex.

"Rachel...we nearly lost you, the whole crew's been praying for you, heck Bacon's been tearing St Louis apart to find Camomile Tea for you, the XO's been wearing a hole in the floor pacing, and the Captain...he's not left your side since the shooting" Danny told her, smiling "You're one of us, Doc, we care about you, and we're damn glad you're ok!"

"Danny's right, and I'm glad you're ok 'cause no-one else is delivering this kid except you, so hurry up with the recovery!" Kara laughed "As for blooming, that's one word for it!"

Bertrise hugged Rachel again, adding "You've been like a mother and sister all rolled into one for me; my life wouldn't be the same without you".

Rachel could feel the tears forming in her own eyes, touched at Danny's words that the crew had been so worried about her. She'd never been quite sure how the crew had perceived her after the Sorensen incident, and had missed the sense of oneness, of belonging she'd felt prior to it. It cheered her beyond words to know she hadn't lost their goodwill, they were remarkable people, family even – to know she hadn't lost that made her heart lift.

"Well if that's the case, can I ask a favour?" Rachel asked the trio.

"Name it" Kara replied firmly.

"Could someone take me to the shower and help me wash? I want to get out of this damn bed and into something other than this wretched hospital gown!" Rachel said tugging at the unisex gown she was still wearing "Danny, any chance you could get me something other than hospital food? Please?"

The trio nodded, relieved to have something they could do to help their friend after the helplessness they'd felt whilst Rachel had been asleep. They'd all hated the sense of frustration they had all felt, unable to do anything but watch, pray, and talk to her unconscious form, and support their Captain as he watched over his beloved Rachel. Danny left Rachel in the care of Bertrise and Kara, whilst he drove the short distance back to the hotel the Nathan James's crew had taken over whilst the ship was in dry dock. Tracking down Bacon, he'd relayed Rachel's request to the cook and his team, who needed no prompting to carry out Rachel's request. The Hotel's kitchen staff had been more than willing to assist them, knowing this woman was the reason they all had hope for the future. Back at the hospital, Kara and Bertrise had helped Rachel to the shower using the bathing chair that had been helpfully supplied by a kindly healthcare assistant, Hayley, who had also demonstrated how to assist Rachel without hurting her. Despite her frustration and annoyance at having to rely on others to do what she so desperately wanted to do for herself, Rachel nevertheless delighted in the simple pleasure of a shower, clean clothes, and being out of bed. She sat still; enjoying the simple pleasure of having her hair brushed and plaited by Bertrise, knowing it wouldn't be long before she could do it for herself again.

"Thank you, both of you – it's so nice to feel... _human_ again" Rachel said "Hope Danny hurries back with that food, though!"

Kara and Bertrise laughed along with her, glad to see Rachel smiling and laughing, after days of watching her lie so still in that bed, not knowing if she'd make it. Kara though watched Rachel closely; she hadn't missed the tense set of Rachel's shoulders as they'd wheeled her into the hospital corridor, a tenseness that had remained until they'd returned to her room. Serving in the armed forces meant Kara had seen post traumatic stress before, and knew there was more than a good chance it could affect the doctor she'd come to see as a friend and ally. She resolved to speak to the Captain, no _Chief of Naval Operations_ – she had to think of him as that now, about it though chances were he'd considered it himself. The sound of the door being swung open caused Rachel's head to snap up, her whole body tensing before relaxing as she recognised Danny returning with the food she'd asked for. Danny noticed the slightly fearful look in Rachel's eyes that had vanished as soon as she'd recognised him, and a glance over her head at both Kara and Bertrise told him they'd noticed it too.

"Here you go Rachel, it's just something simple, but Bacon and co were only too happy to help out, they send their love by the way" Danny told her "I passed several of the James's crew on my way back, they all send their love too, glad to know you're ok"

The four of them chatted and laughed their way through the food Bacon had sent, as Danny, Kara, and Bertrise brought Rachel up to speed with all the gossip, developments, and news she'd missed. Danny noticed the apprehensive look that appeared suddenly on Rachel's face, and decided to test their new friendship with a little advice.

"Rachel, I've been in your position before, but I'm military, so I've no idea what it's like for you, being a civilian" Danny paused, before plunging on "All I'll say is if you need anything, we're here for you, _all of us_ – you're one of us now, and the Nathan James's crew stick together, we're family now"

Rachel looked down for a moment, touched beyond measure to know that the crew, especially these three wonderful people, considered her one of them, considered her family. To have the Chandlers, and now the James's crew bring her into their family was a gift she'd treasure, and something she'd been looking for all her life. Now Rachel realised she had to find a way to get past the walls she'd spent a lifetime building, find a way to reach out and trust them, because she'd never found anything she'd wanted more.

"Thank you, so very much, I'll remember that" Rachel told them, tears threatening to fall.

"You do that, Rachel, we're here for you" Bertrise told her, Kara and Danny nodding in agreement, reaching over to squeeze Rachel's hand gently.

"Hey you three, I thought I asked you to cheer Rachel up, not make her cry!" Tom's voice broke into their consciousness, making all three break into laughter again. No-one missed how Rachel's face lit up like a beacon at the sound of Tom's voice, her eyes shining with the love they all knew she felt.

"Oh hush you! They were being good friends Tom!" Rachel chided him gently, grinning happily. Normally, she'd never have displayed her feelings so openly, but Rachel knew she could trust her friends, knew they wouldn't judge her or Tom.

"Captain...sorry Admiral, can Danny and I have a quick word before we go?" Kara asked her former CO "Bertrise, we'll just be a minute, but we'll walk you back to the hotel, Rachel we'll see you tomorrow, if it's ok to come and visit again?"

"Of course it's ok silly! It'd be lovely to see you again, and thank Bacon and the crew for their kindness" Rachel replied, accepting the hug Kara gave her as she left, Danny followed suit and followed his fiancée out of the room with Tom in tow.

Tom followed Danny and Kara out of the room, wondering what exactly they had to say that couldn't be said in front of Rachel. He had an idea though, feeling it was more than likely related to the look of fear he'd seen so briefly in Rachel's eyes, along with other small "incidents" he'd witnessed himself since Rachel had awoken the previous night.

"What's up you two? Is there something wrong?" Tom asked, his face creased with a frown.

"Sir, it's...well it's nothing concrete, but there were a few things today that made us think Rachel...well she could have PTSD" Kara said softly "When Bertrise and I arrived, Rachel asked us to help her shower, she can't do it herself with her shoulder. When we took her out of her room, along the corridor, she was tense, almost hyper alert, really until we got back to her room"

Danny picked up the story as Kara finished, relating the small incident they'd all witnessed.

"When I came back into her room tonight, she was startled, afraid when the door opened until she saw it was me sir" Danny said "I guess she's more relaxed now, since she didn't show the same reaction when you came in just now"

Tom nodded thoughtfully, it fit with the things he'd witnessed, such as the way she'd nearly jumped out of her skin when the night staff had come in to administer her night time medication. He'd been afraid that this might happen; Rachel had never directly been in the line of fire, despite her experience of war zones as a doctor.

"Thanks for telling me, I appreciate it" Tom replied "It fits with some things I've seen myself, the hardest thing is going to be getting Rachel to admit she has a problem and agreeing get help, she's a proud woman"

Danny and Kara shared a speaking glance, before Kara spoke up again.

"It'll come better from you sir, the three of us, we're her friends, but you're the one she loves...sir" Kara replied, blushing at her words, hoping the Captain would take her words in the spirit they were intended. Tom noticed the blush, but knew it was a mark of how much things had changed, had brought them all closer that both Kara and Danny felt comfortable enough to bring such personal issues to him.

"Thank you both, it's good to know Rachel has friends that care for her" Tom told them "And you're right, I do love Rachel but I hope you understand if I ask you to keep that to yourselves, the crew, my family... are aware of how things stand between Rachel and I, won't judge us but others...might not be so kind"

"We understand sir, and you're right, we'll keep it in the family for now" Danny replied.

"One more thing, as you know the President wants me to take up the position of Chief of Naval Operations, and for that I'll need a good assistant, someone smart, well organised, good with people" Tom paused "I know you're fast approaching the point where you'll have to leave the James Kara, so I was wondering if you'd be willing to accept the position?"

Kara stared at Tom for a moment, before her face broke into a huge smile and she nodded speechlessly, hugging herself with joy. Tom smiled back, Kara had been a brilliant TAO, and he had no doubt she'd be equally brilliant at running his office, he'd hate her to be wasted on a make-work position. He turned to the young SEAL who reminded himself so much of himself at the same age, Danny was perfect for the first stage in his plan to deal with the PTSD he'd begun to suspect himself Rachel might be developing.

"Danny, I need you to put together a few individuals to train Rachel in self defence, I don't ever want her to be so helpless again" Tom told Danny "If there's one thing this whole shooting has taught me, Rachel's a target, something we should've though of ourselves, but I'll be damned if she'll be so again!"

Danny nodded in agreement, he could already think of a few crew members who'd be perfect for this plan. They both shook hands with Tom before returning to Rachel's room to collect Bertrise, and say good night to Rachel before they left.

Tom followed them in, sitting down beside Rachel, taking her hand in his and lacing his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand tenderly. He knew damn well Rachel would realise something was up, the question was how much to tell her? Tom knew if he told Rachel what he, Danny, and Kara suspected she'd deny it with her last breath, he knew his lady love well enough to grasp that fact. From reading her bio, and chatting to Kelly Tophet, Tom knew Rachel was very choosy about who she allowed close to her, and had grown up with a family that was dysfunctional to say the least. Still, he was damned if he'd allow this PTSD to crush his and Rachel's growing relationship, not when they'd just found each other, and had the courage to take a chance on each other, not without a fight!


	8. Chapter 8

**Slow Burn – chapter 8**

As Kara, Danny, and Bertrise left Rachel's room, she turned to Tom and just raised an eyebrow at him, her lips curved in a smile as she wriggled over to his side of the bed.

"Sooo, are you going to tell me what that little pow wow was all about, or do I have to employ my secret weapon?" Rachel asked, her tone suggesting all sorts of naughty images in Tom's head.

" _Down boy! The woman's just woken up from a coma!"_ Tom thought to himself " _But two can play that game Rach!"_

"Well now, a man's got to have his secrets Rachel" Tom replied, grinning at her, he was loving this playful side of her "So maybe you'd better use your...secret weapon sweetheart"

Rachel just smiled at him for a moment, before snaking her good hand around his neck, and pulling his head down for a smouldering kiss, just as she had all those months ago aboard the Vyerni. Only this time, Tom's hands weren't bound by handcuffs and he was free to use them, and use them he did. Gently, he lifted her from the bed onto his lap, using her gasp of surprise as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue duelling with hers, caressing her body gently, until only the need for oxygen drove them apart. Rachel sat in Tom's lap, slightly dazed at the speed at which he'd taken control of the kiss, but if she was honest with herself she'd thoroughly enjoyed it. Underneath all that iron control, Rachel had long suspected Tom was a man of hidden passions, passions she wanted very much to be on the receiving end of! Rachel cursed her injury anew, knowing she so was not up to a heated make out session, not to mention a hospital room wasn't where she'd pictured their first time to be. Tom for his part was having similar thoughts, wanting desperately to show Rachel how much he loved her but knowing her injury meant that it wasn't likely to happen for a while. He leaned back against the pillows, cradling Rachel in his arms, letting their heartbeats return to normal, whilst savouring the feel of holding her in his arms, her hair still slightly damp from her recent shower. She was wearing a beautiful cotton dress that buttoned up the front, easy to take off with one hand Tom thought, and a beautiful woollen shawl.

"Beautiful dress Rach – gift from the girls?" he asked her, enjoying the way Rachel was snuggling up against him, it was a while since he'd held a woman like this, just savouring the sensation of physical contact with her. Rachel smiled to herself, feeling warm and fuzzy at the sensation of being held by Tom like this; the kiss had been breathtaking, but being held like this was sheer bliss. Rachel felt safe and relaxed in Tom's arms, and the shower had been just what she'd needed to soothe her frayed nerves, not to mention Kara and Bertrise's thoughtful gifts of the dress and shawl had lifted her heart.

"Yes, Kara and Bertrise bought them at a local market here in St Louis, neither would tell me what they traded to get them though" Rachel replied with a chuckle

"Maybe they just wanted to see you smile, and make you feel human again, be good friends" Tom said, he sent up a silent thank you to the young trio, they'd done wonders for Rachel's emotional well being.

"They are, very much so!" Rachel replied happily "Danny and Kara will be good parents, Bertrise is like a daughter to me"

Tom smiled at her comments; it still boggled his mind that the Greens were going to be parents in a little under 5 months! Kara was starting to show now, and it brought back memories of Darien and their two beautiful children. He'd missed so much of her pregnancies, having to rely on home videos and photographs that Darien or his Dad would thoughtfully e-mail him. It also made Tom look down at the beautiful woman in his arms, and wondering what Rachel would look like heavy with child. She was such a petite little thing, yet she had such a larger than life personality, and thoroughly enjoyed challenging him at every turn – secretly he loved that!

Rachel would be gorgeous pregnant, he had a feeling she'd be one of those women who blossomed with each month that passed. Already, Rachel had formed a bond with Ashley and Sam, who appreciated her kind, steady friendship and easy going nature. It ought to scare him that he was thinking of such permanent things as a family and a life together with Rachel, but whilst Rachel had been in her coma, he'd had no escape from the grief he'd refused to deal with whilst hunting the Ramsay's, helping Michener through his crisis of confidence. Doing so had made him realise how much he'd been short changing both the children and himself – Darien would've been furious with him! She would never have wanted to be the reason he hid from loving anyone, whether that was Sam and Ashley or anyone else. Honesty with others and with yourself, your feelings had been one of the cornerstones of her beliefs.

"We were talking about you Rachel and about the need to help you" Tom told her, she deserved the truth, at least some of it

"Help me? How?" Rachel asked, curious.

"We should've taught you self defence Rachel, especially after we discovered the Ramsay's intentions, not to mention the Immunes" Tom replied "You didn't even get the basic self defence training the rawest of new recruits gets, that was criminally stupid of us, of me, and it won't happen again!"

"Tom, sweetheart – what happened to me, wasn't your fault, not one bit!" Rachel returned fiercely "Not to mention, I could've asked for that help, but I didn't"

"I know Rach, but Danny, Kara, myself – we felt you should have some basic self defence, give you some self confidence back" Tom murmured "and I just wanted to say, if you need to talk...about anything...I'm here for you...nothing you could ever say would make me love you any less Rachel"

Rachel's eyes snapped open at his last comment, and she propped herself up on her good elbow to look into his gorgeous blue eyes, which looked back at her with such sincerity.

"Did...did you just say you loved me?" Rachel whispered, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I love you Rachel, very much, and when you're ready I really want to take this relationship further, if you want to?" Tom told her, brushing a gentle kiss across her lips.

"I love you too Tom, and yes I want to take this further, once I'm out of this blasted hospital" Rachel said, returning his gesture with a kiss of her own.

For a while, they just lay on the bed holding each other, savouring the presence of the other. Slowly, Rachel dropped off to sleep, exhausted from her exertions of earlier. She'd been in a coma for several weeks, and even the mildest of activity left her drained, and Tom was happy to hold her whilst she slept, knowing that she'd need the rest to cope with the challenges that lay ahead. As Rachel slept, Tom used the time to catch up on the mountain of reports that came with his promotion, stacking them on the small bedside table as he finished with each one. Suddenly, there was a loud bang outside the hospital, a car backfiring Tom realised afterwards, that caused Rachel to scream in terror, sting bolt upright, her eyes wild with fear.

" _Rachel! Rach – I'm here sweetheart, it's ok!"_ Tom pulled her back into his arms, stroking her shoulders as she shook with the force of her sobs and the fears that had yanked her from sleep. He rocked her gently, as you would a frightened child, murmuring nonsense words, until he felt her body relax, and her sobbing tapered off.

"It's just a car backfiring Rachel, you're safe, no-one's going to hurt you" Tom promised her, still stroking her back.

Rachel clung to him, feeling the fear and the memories that sound had produced – for a moment she'd been back in that hallway, seeing the crazed eyes of the Immune as he'd raised the gun and shot her. It had been _so real,_ so very painfully real - and she hated feeling so damn helpless; now more than ever, she wanted those self defence lessons Tom had promised her. A voice Rachel recognised broke into her revere, as Cruz stuck his head around the door

"Sir? Sir? Is everything ok? I heard Dr Scott cry out, just checking in" he said, his heart going out to Dr Scott. He'd been where she was, and knew how hard it was to come to grips with being shot.

"Thank you Cruz, everything's ok - car backfiring just startled Dr Scott, woke her up" Tom replied, as Rachel nodded her thanks to the young sailor as he exited the room.

"When am I going to stop being so damn jumpy?" Rachel murmured to herself, hating the terror and fear, the weakness she heard in her voice.

"PTSD is rough on anyone Rachel, but it's nothing to be ashamed of" Tom replied, feeling her body stiffen in protest at his words, as he'd known she would.

"I don't have PTSD Tom, I'm just...jumpy, it's barely been 24 hours since I woke from a coma, it's only natural I'll be startled easily" She protested, not convincing herself anymore than she did Tom. He held her gaze for a few moments longer, before wisely choosing not to make an issue of it right then, he knew she wasn't in any frame of mind to deal with what she would perceive as yet one more failing. Tom just drew her back into his arms and pulled her back down on the bed, stroking her hair until he heard her breathing slow and her body relax back into sleep once more.

Rachel's days began to settle into a predictable rhythm – Bertrise would visit of a morning, helping her to wash and dress before going down to physical therapy, and the exercises the physio's had prescribed for her, helping Rachel to regain the use, strength, and range of movement in her damaged shoulder. Then it was on to occupational therapy, learning to use the equipment the OT's had selected for her to use around the house whilst she recovered from her injury. Then finally, she finished her day with the psychologist Tom had asked her to see, which was a waste of time in her opinion. Rachel had never been comfortable talking about herself, disliking the vulnerability it made her feel – but Tom had insisted so she went. Jeff Randall, the psychologist could tell from the moment he'd met the brilliant Rachel Scott that not only did she have PTSD, she was in total denial over it, and it was going to take a great deal to get her to open up. Someone had done a real number on this young woman, trust was a major issue to her, and truthfully the only one who seemed to get through to her was the newly appointed Chief of Naval Operations, Tom Chandler, the man who'd asked him to take Rachel on as a patient. Jeff had come to know the Chandlers when Tom had sought him out to help himself and his children, who were struggling themselves to deal with the loss of Tom's wife, the children's mother in Baltimore. Tom had warned Jeff Rachel would be a tough nut to crack, but had asked him to persist, so he did, hoping Tom himself could help Rachel to open up.

Ironically, it was a hairbrush that eventually led to the breakthrough they needed to help Rachel open up. Having regained enough function in her arm to leave hospital, Rachel and Bertrise had moved into an apartment that had been built onto the side of the colonial style house Tom and his family had taken possession of in St Louis. She continued her treatments as an outpatient, which Rachel far preferred, but she found walking down the enclosed corridors of the hospital, indeed any building nerve wracking, always feeling the need to be hyper alert. She loved the little apartment, and her slowly developing relationship with Tom, not to mention his family who had welcomed her into their family circle, continued to be a source of joy to her. Danny and Kara continued to visit, and Rachel enjoyed the friendship of the young couple, whilst sharing in their happiness over their developing baby. Bertrise too, had come to love her new life with Rachel, glad to help the woman who'd become a surrogate mother to her and return the love, the support that Rachel had given her when she'd arrived as a scared 17 year old aboard the Nathan James. Will Mason had become a frequent visitor to their apartment, with Tom's permission of course – after he'd grilled his subordinate over his "intentions" towards the young woman he'd come to see as an adoptive daughter. Tonight, they were off to see a musical put on by a local amateur dramatic society, as Rachel had insisted she could manage without Bertrise for one night, and didn't want to be the reason her "daughter" couldn't have a social life.

The last thing Rachel needed to do was braid her hair before she turned in for the night, it had gotten so long and really needed cutting but it was one more thing to add to her already long list. Unfortunately, her shoulder was already tired from her physical therapy session that afternoon and trying to brush her long tresses was getting nowhere fast. Eventually Rachel let loose a scream of frustration, flinging her hair brush across the room in a fit of uncharacteristic rage, watching with horror as the brush whistled past Tom's ear. He'd come to see how she was managing alone, as he'd promised Bertrise he would, they'd both felt Rachel was a little over confident of her ability to manage. Fortunately for Rachel, Tom's reflexes were better than the average person's due to his military training and the brush sailed past him, landing harmlessly in the hallway. Quietly Tom picked up the hair brush and walked back to Rachel's room pausing in the doorway to take in Rachel's distressed expression.

"May I come in Rachel?" He asked, waiting for her reply

"Of course you can! I...I'm so sorry Tom I don't know what came over me then, forgive me?" she replied, tears running down her face.

Tom walked over to her, sat down behind her, and picking up the brush, began to remove the tangles that had caused her fit of temper. In no time, he'd combed out the tangles and braided her long tresses, quietly thanking Ashley for his hairdressing skills. Without a word, he turned Rachel around and drew her into his arms and stroked her back as she cried, just as he had in the hospital that first night.

"First of all, there's nothing to apologise for, I have two children, you think I haven't had a few toys flung at me in my time?" he said, enjoying the small grin that appeared on her face "Second, I think we both know what's caused it, and I don't think you can afford to ignore it anymore Rachel"

"PTSD" Rachel replied, knowing in her heart he was right. She'd looked up the symptoms earlier and it fit how she'd been feeling, the sense of fear, hyper alertness, the flashes of temper, the flashbacks – it all made sense.

"I recognise it because I've been there Rachel – it happened to me to sweetheart, believe me when I tell you I understand just how terrifying it is" Tom said quietly "It happened to me after my first mission as a SEAL, my team were the victims of a roadside bomb – I and my CO were the only survivors"

Rachel didn't say a word, but Tom could tell he had her attention and that she was listening.

"When I came home, at first everything was fine, until one of the neighbours kids let off some firecrackers – I went ballistic" Tom swallowed, even now he could still hear the sounds of the explosion, and the firecrackers, the terror he'd felt "Darien and my Dad, they sat me down that night, impressed on me the need to get help, heck Darien even threatened to leave me if I didn't. I went, reluctantly, but gradually I began to open up and the more I talked about it, the more I applied the therapists advice, the better things got – there are times I still get the occasional flashback, but I can deal with it, and you will too Rachel – you're one of the strongest people I know, and we're all right behind you, _I'm_ right behind you, all the way"

Rachel's lips trembled as she took in his words, and buried her face in his neck as she hugged him tightly, taking comfort from his strength, and from the admissions he'd made to her. To know that someone like Tom had gone through the same ordeal she had, one of the toughest people she knew, and come out whole gave her hope. She was also touched by his admission, knowing what it had cost him to say those words - it just made her love him all the more.

"Plus, I chose your therapist as he's been counselling Sam and Ashley, my Dad too – they've all been having nightmares about Baltimore, so you are definitely not alone, Rachel – you're part of this family, not to mention the Nathan James family, I meant it when I said that" Tom continued "So trust Jeff, ok, work with him, I promise you things _will get better_ "

"I will Tom, I promise I'll try – and thank you for confiding in me, being there for me, you have no idea how much that means" Rachel replied "Love you"

"I love you – always" He replied, kissing her gently, his hands caressing her body slowly, before pulling back.

"Come on sweetheart, you need some sleep" Tom said softly, pulling her towards the bed until he noticed the fearful look in her eyes. "Are you worried about being alone? How about I stay with you until you fall asleep, would that do? We'll leave the table lamp on too"

Rachel nodded, the days were ok but it was nights she feared the most, when the nightmares were strongest. Having Tom here at least until she'd dropped off would be a relief; he'd always made her feel so safe. He lay down on the bed and waited till Rachel was snuggled up against him before pulling a throw across them, and turning down the light. He'd made a breakthrough tonight, and somehow Tom knew things were going to get better – but for now he'd stay with Rachel whilst she fell asleep. Someday soon, he wanted to take things further with Rachel but whilst she was still recovering it wasn't practical. There was also Ashley and Sam to consider, they adored Rachel but they'd need to get used to the idea of Rachel being something more than just a houseguest and a friend of their father's.

That being said, there were times Tom thought Ashley was quite well aware of his feelings for Rachel, she was quite perceptive his daughter – just like her mother in that respect. His father he knew was aware of it, and thoroughly approved of Rachel, which just left Sammy, who was perhaps the most difficult to read. Like Tom himself, Sam tended to keep his feelings to himself until he was 100% sure of the situation, but he also tended to follow Ashley's lead – and Tom got the feeling both siblings quietly approved. It made him glad that he and Rachel had both agreed to take things slowly, a decision they'd both agreed on before she'd left hospital, indeed it had been one of Rachel's conditions to moving in with the Chandler's.

Tom reached down to stroke Rachel's hair, listening to the soft rhythm of her breathing, waiting for her to fall asleep. As his mind replayed the day's events, Tom found himself nodding off. The day had been long and exhausting, more so than he'd realised.

The next thing Tom knew, he was being shaken gently awake by Bertrise and it was nearly midnight. Bertrise had arrived home from her date with Will Mason; she'd popped into Rachel's room to check on her flat mate, who she knew had been having trouble sleeping. She'd been slightly startled to see the Admiral asleep next to Rachel, but had quickly realised that he was still dressed in the clothing he'd been wearing when she'd left earlier. Bertrise had assumed that Rachel had had a nightmare or had struggled with something, and Tom had stepped in to help, as he'd promised Bertrise he'd do.

"Admiral, Admiral – wake up" She whispered, taking care not to wake Rachel, who appeared to be sleeping soundly.

Tom stirred slowly, then snapped awake, his blue eyes focussing on Bertrise and his surroundings.

"Thank you" Tom mouthed silently, and gently extricated himself from Rachel's arms. Bertrise continued to watch as the Admiral covered Rachel with the duvet, stroking her face lovingly before leaving the room. Bertrise turned quietly to follow him.

"Is everything ok Admiral, did Rachel have a nightmare, is that why you stayed with her?" Bertrise asked, keeping her voice down so as not to wake Rachel

"No- she had a bit of a mini meltdown over brushing her hair of all things" Tom said as they left Rachel's room "I stepped into help her, we talked about her PTSD, and about working more closely with Jeff Randall, fortunately for both of us, she agreed, hopefully we've turned a corner and Rachel can finally move forward"

"PTSD? What's that?" Bertrise asked confused, she'd heard Danny and Kara mention it on the walk home from the hospital when Rachel had first woken from her coma.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – it's what's been causing the nightmares, the jumpiness, the flashbacks, losing her temper over things that before Rachel would've dismissed without thought" Tom explained "With PTSD, sounds, smells, the smallest of things can send you right back to the traumatic incident that caused it to begin, and to the sufferer it's very real, very vivid, and damn terrifying"

"So that therapist she's been seeing – he can help with this?" Bertrise responded.

"Yes, absolutely – but only if Rachel opens up to him, works with him, and up till now, she hasn't been" Tom pointed out "but she's agreed to open up more and co-operate with Jeff, I think she realised tonight she has a problem and I believe we've made progress "

"That's good, I hate seeing her like this, it's not her, can I do anything to help?" Bertrise asked earnestly, smiling shyly.

"Just keep doing what you're doing – I know Rachel appreciates it more than you know" He replied "And I'm sorry for startling you, I truly had planned to be gone before you got home"

"It really is ok Admiral, I know you love Rachel and wouldn't take advantage of her, I'm glad she has you" The teen told him sincerely.

Tom just nodded and turned to leave but paused in the doorway as he made to leave.

"Actually Bertrise there is something you can do" He said gently.

"What is it?" She replied, quite happy to do anything to help Rachel.

"Just call me Tom, I think you've earned the right" Tom returned with a smile, and left the apartment with a far lighter heart than before. Rachel wasn't out of the woods completely, but they were getting somewhere at last, and that would do for now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Slow Burn – chapter 9**

Tom watched as Rachel walked up the driveway, her head held high and that " _I can do anything"-type_ smile she had when she was winning. Her doctors had cleared Rachel to begin physiotherapy and also the light training portion of the self defence training that Danny, Wolf, and Burk had drawn up for her. He knew Rachel had hated feeling so damn helpless and had jumped at the chance to learn to help herself. He knew she wasn't looking forward to learning to shoot a gun; any noise that sounded remotely like gunfire still had Rachel breaking into a cold sweat, and could still prompt flashbacks. That being said, she was working hard with Jeff Randall, her therapist and they were making progress. Speaking of progress, Tom knew that as part of Jeff's therapy, he encouraged his patients to keep a journal in which to record their memories of their experience. Jeff felt it was vital to a patient's recovery to exorcise those feelings about the event that had traumatised the individual; without this "exorcism", Jeff felt the emotions would continue to fester and further traumatise the patient. It was with this in mind he'd gone out and bought the leather bound journal that he currently held in his hands.

Tom knew Rachel loved books, particularly those that were leather bound, saying she loved the smell of the binding as much as she loved the contents themselves. As she approached the porch, Rachel smiled broadly when she saw who was waiting for her, and felt her heart busily doing somersaults in her chest at the sight of Captain Thomas Bryce Chandler. It never ceased to amaze her that Tom loved her, and she'd happily spend the rest of her life basking in that love.

"Hi there handsome!" Rachel called, loving the faint blush her sassy words had caused to grace his cheeks. Tom grinned back at her, delighted to see the sparkle back in her whiskey coloured eyes and the confident bounce in her step.

Rachel had been a shadow of her former self, until the "hairbrush moment", as she and Tom had taken to calling it. Over the last few months, Rachel had thrown herself into her therapy sessions, determined to regain the self-assurance, the sass as Tom called it, that had been her trademark until her shooting. She'd also taken up the promotion President Michener had offered her, as Head of Public Health. As she was still requiring a great deal of physical therapy, she wasn't capable yet of the dexterity required for even the most basic of lab work. It had turned out however, that Rachel's qualifications, from her PhD in Virology to her MD in Medicine, weren't her only areas of expertise. Given her experience of chasing some of the deadliest infectious diseases known to man, and her work as doctor in both the western and third world health systems, she had a very good idea of what was required to rebuild the US health system, and Michener was taking full advantage of it.

Between her work and the self defence programme Danny had started her on, Rachel had begun to regain her self confidence, and was slowly returning to the bolshie, self-possessed, and lively woman she had been before. Oh there were still the occasional dark moments and storms of tears, but they were becoming more infrequent. The journal was to be one of the final pieces in Rachel's road to recovery, along with one other thing Tom knew Rachel was dreading, that of learning to handle the very thing that had nearly claimed her life almost 6 months ago - a gun.

"Have you thought anymore about going to the shooting range?" Tom asked her, broaching the subject carefully "You know I'm more than happy to tutor you"

Rachel nodded and smiled at him in relief. She'd been hoping he'd offer but hadn't wanted to press the issue; he'd done so much for her already.

"I think I'll take you up on your offer, if that's ok?" Rachel replied "Danny's been very good so far, but I'd feel better if you went with me, there are some things I'd rather Danny didn't see"

Tom nodded, not wanting to tell her that Danny was well aware of Rachel's PTSD and her likely reaction to guns and gunfire; still, he could understand her wanting to preserve her dignity and pride. Behind his back, Tom clutched the leather bound journal; thinking now was a good time to give it to Rachel, whilst she was in a receptive frame of mind.

"What have you got hidden behind your back Mon capitaine?" Rachel queried, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, looking for all the world just like a child awaiting a much anticipated treat.

Tom held out the journal to her and Rachel took it eagerly, running her fingers over the tooled leather binding before opening it and running her fingers over its unmarked pages.

"Is this my journal? The one Jeff wants me to keep as part of my therapy?" she asked, looking up at him shyly. Tom nodded, hoping Rachel would receive the gift in the spirit it was intended.

"Yes, I thought you might find it easier if it came with good memories to balance whatever bad ones you need to write down on its pages" He replied softly, running his fingers over her cheek, his breath hitching in his throat as she leaned into the simple caress. Tom leaned in and kissed her tenderly, nibbling gently on her lower lip, before deepening the kiss slowly, swirling his tongue around hers, as he pulled her into his arms. Rachel savoured the sensation of being held in Tom's arms as they continued to kiss, revelling in the warmth, strength, and security she felt in his arms, not to mention the slow burning passion that simmered just below the surface.

Unbeknownst to the two would be lovers, they had an audience – who slipped away quietly as the kiss continued. Sam and Ashley, far from being disheartened by what they'd inadvertently seen, were delighted. Rachel had become a part of their family; her role in their lives increasing gradually, to the point that it seemed as if she had always been there. It hadn't escaped their attention that their beloved father was far happier when Rachel was around. He smiled more, laughed more, and as far as they were concerned, anyone who made their Dad happy made them happy. Plus, Rachel had never once attempted to force herself into their life, or take their mother's place; instead she'd become their friend, helping with homework, listening when they needed a sympathetic ear, not to mention amusing them with her attempts to learn to cook. Seeing the two most important adults in their young lives embracing so passionately, gave Sam and Ashley an idea – they'd set up a date night for their father and Rachel!

"They need some time alone, Sammy "Ashley decided "they need what grandpa call it? Oh yeah, Grown up fun!"

"So daddy will ask Rachel to marry him and we can be a proper family again right Ash?" Sam asked, looking over at his big sister hopefully. He knew his mother was gone, but he'd come to love Rachel, just as Ashley had, and just wanted his family complete again.

"Exactly squirt! Got it in one!" Ashley crowed "Now all we need to do is decide where and what"

"Need some help with that you two?" Jed asked them, having over heard the two plotters conspiring – he thoroughly approved of the idea.

It hadn't escaped Jed that his son had been far happier with Rachel in his life, and hadn't missed the hastily snatched kisses the two grabbed occasionally, the way the two would drop back on their Sunday hikes, chatting quietly together, holding hands. He knew, just as the children did, that both Tom and Rachel were trying to take things gradually, not spring too many changes on those around them. Equally so, they needed some time alone, without family present and to be able to consummate their relationship.

"So what did you two have in mind then?" He asked his grandchildren, wondering what the pair had hatched up between them.

"A date Grandpa!" Sam replied, still not quite sure exactly what that entailed.

"Yeah, like dinner, dancing, flowers, being _alone_ " Ashley added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at the last words, making Jed chuckle with amusement.

"Ok – sounds good so far, but where did you have in mind?" He replied, watching their little faces crease in thought. "Mind if I make a suggestion?"

"Sure Grandpa! What did _you_ have in mind?" They chorused, giggling together happily.

"Well, I happen to know that the President is organising a Thanksgiving Ball, and I know your father _and_ Rachel have been invited" Jed told them "So why don't you book them a table at their favourite restaurant _before_ the ball – dinner and dancing, perfect!"

"That's great Grandpa – but what about when they come home? They'll want to be alone right?" Ashley inquired, looking over at Sam who just nodded in agreement.

"Ok, how about I ask Mrs Tophet if you guys can have a sleepover with Ava? Pretty sure it'll be ok when I explain why" Jed suggested, impressed with their forward thinking.

"What about you Grandpa? Where will you go?" Sam asked, not wanting his Grandpa to be left out of the fun.

"My buddies over at the Rec centre have organised a poker game, it'll be an all nighter, so that's me sorted!" Jed replied "Anything else?"

"Umm – well Dad has his dress uniform, but what about Rachel? She lives in jeans! You can't go to a ball in jeans!" Ashley giggled, smiling at the thought of her Dad waltzing Rachel round the ballroom in jeans!

"Why don't you have a chat with Bertrise? She knows what Rachel has in her wardrobe" Jed pointed out "If she hasn't anything suitable, she knows what Rachel's size is. You'll have to see what people will trade for a dress"

Sam and Ashley nodded eagerly and dashed off to find Bertrise, keen to get Operation Date Night started. Sure enough, Bertrise confirmed that Rachel possessed little in the way of ball gowns or even a dress remotely suitable for such an occasion! She did know however, that Rachel had been eyeing up a lovely dress at a local shop, and the owner had confided in Bertrise when Rachel had tried it on that for the pretty British Doctor who'd saved her family, she'd give her the dress for nothing! Bertrise was in fact on her way to collect it before someone else took a shine to it. After getting permission from their Grandpa, the children dashed off with Bertrise to get the dress, taking with them a basket of Plums and Apples from the fruit tree's they'd found growing in their backyard. Ashley knew there was a florist on the way to the dress shop Bertrise had told them about and at Sam's suggestion they planned to trade some fruit for the flowers, so Rachel would have a corsage. Jed offered to call in at the restaurant he knew both his son and Rachel liked to book a table for them; he played poker with the owner, and was pretty sure his buddy would find them a table.

Meanwhile, back on the porch Tom and Rachel were sitting on the porch swing, talking about the day's events. So rarely did they get to just sit and talk without interruption from someone or something, it was a welcome break for both would be lovers.

"Did the President mention the Thanksgiving Ball to you?" Tom asked, curious to see what Rachel thought of the whole thing.

He had every intention or squiring Rachel to the Ball, keen to make sure every man in St Louis saw the beautiful doctor on _his_ arm, as _his_ date! Tom knew he was being possessive, but if he could see just how damn desirable, beautiful, and charming Rachel was – well so could everyone else, save the lady herself! Even POTUS seemed to have an appreciative gleam in his eye when it came to his Director of Public health, so Tom was quite keen to mark his territory once and for all!

"Yes, he and Allison brought it up at the planning sessions yesterday – I think it's a great idea" Rachel replied, thinking of how handsome Tom would look in his dress uniform "I saw a dress in a shop yesterday, it was divine!"

"You in a dress? I'd pay to see that, after all, you looked pretty damn gorgeous in the last one I saw you in!" Tom murmured appreciatively "But I still think you could pull off the Jeans thing!"

They both laughed at Tom's last remark, thinking of a similar comment he'd made the night she'd been shot, and both hoping the coming ball would have a far different ending than that one. It would if Tom had anything to do with it, as he planned to spend the evening stuck like glue to Rachel's side, not to mention her bodyguard (he refused to relax that one as yet, and Rachel didn't have the heart to press the issue).

The children's plans went like clockwork, the dress shop owner was more than happy for Rachel to have the dress, and refused to hear of any payment or trade. The florist was equally happy to trade fruit for the flowers, quality food particularly fruit, was good "currency" in the post virus world. Jed's poker buddy who owned the restaurant was more than happy to give a table to the couple for the night of the ball, to have two of St Louis's premier movers and shakers in the new administration eating at his establishment was good for business!

"Now all we have to do is get Dad and Rachel to go on a date together" Sam said to Bertrise and his sister as they returned to the house, carrying the dress and the corsage of flowers, along with instructions on how to keep the flowers fresh.

"I don't think you'll have to work too hard kids, not from what I've seen" Bertrise replied, thinking of her own dress she was planning to wear as Tom Mason had finally plucked up the courage to ask her to the ball.

It was how she knew Rachel had been invited not to mention the gorgeous dress Rachel had had her eye on; the things she'd had to trade for _her_ dress would be well worth it when Ensign Mason picked her up tomorrow night!

Me neither Sammy, not from that kiss we saw!" Ashley snickered, thinking of how totally absorbed in each other her father and Rachel had been. Someday she hoped there would be a boy who would look at her the way her Dad looked at Rachel (and how he'd looked at her Mom too).

Returning to the house, the children decided to put "Operation Date Night" into action and tracked down their father and Rachel in turn, nothing could go wrong they decided. They found Rachel sitting outside on the back porch, writing in the journal that Tom had given her. Since she'd sat down and begun to write, Rachel found she couldn't stop; being able to finally give voice to the emotions she'd been feeling had been like lancing a boil. It was as if giving voice to the fears that had plagued her for the last few months had freed her from their poisonous hold on her soul. Rachel knew she'd need to go over her words with Jeff in therapy, but just getting it out felt wonderful! She looked up to see Tom's children walking over to her looking rather purposeful; Rachel had come to adore both Sam and Ashley, treasuring the relationship she'd built up with them.

"Hi you two! What's up?" She asked them as she hugged the pair, savouring the innocent gesture they gave so freely.

"Rachel, can we ask you a question?" Sam asked, the serious expression on his face almost made Rachel laugh out loud, but she held back and just nodded instead.

"Do you like our Dad?" Ashley chipped in "I mean _really like him!"_

Rachel blushed and smiled at the pair, wondering what had given them away and where they were going with this conversation.

"Yes I do, very much – is that ok with you guys?" Rachel commented softly, feeling relieved as she watched their little faces light up.

"It's more than ok!" Ashley replied excitedly "So does that mean you'll go on a date with him?"

"I think your dad's got that covered sweetie, he's taking me to the Thanksgiving Ball" Rachel returned, hoping the dress she'd seen was still at the shop and hadn't been sold!

"Yeah, we know, but we thought you might like some grown up fun so we got you a table at your favourite restaurant, that dress you _really_ liked, and the house to yourselves!" Sam said excitedly, the words coming out of his mouth in a mad rush.

"My goodness you two have been a busy pair of matchmakers!" Rachel laughed delightedly "Thank you very much!"

"You're welcome –we just want you both to be happy" Ashley replied smiling shyly, hugging Rachel again, before giving her the dress and dashing off with her brother in tow, in search of their father.

Tom they found in his study, going over some reports from the various newly established training bases he and Michener had set up over the summer. He looked up to see his children barrelling into the room excitedly, grinning like a pair of loons.

"Dad! Can we ask you a question, please?" They asked him, bouncing from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Sure, you guys know you can ask me anything, you know that" Tom told them, wondering as Rachel had, exactly where they were going with this question.

"Do you like Rachel? I mean _like her, like her_ – you know" Ashley asked, waiting for her father's response.

"Yes I do, how do you guys feel about that?" Tom replied "You know that it doesn't mean I love your Mom any less, I'll always love her, but yes, I care a lot about Rachel too – I like her a lot"

"That's great news Dad!" Sam replied happily "So you'll go on a date with her? We booked you guys a table at your favourite restaurant, afore you go to the ball, and here's some real nice flowers you can give her!"

Tom accepted the flowers Sam gave him, setting the beautiful corsage down on his desk and cradling the two of them in his arms, kissing each child on the cheek in turn.

"We've also made arrangements, Sammy, Grandpa, and me, to spend the night with Ava, well Grandpa's playing poker, so you will have the house to yourselves too" Ashley said grinning "so you can have some grown up fun"

Tom had to bite his cheek to stop himself howling with laughter at his daughter's last words, he could only imagine what Rachel would say when he told her. He was impressed with the children's thoughtfulness, though he sensed his father's hand in this somewhere along the line!

"Thank you both, that's really thoughtful of you both, but what about Rachel, she may have other arrangements" He asked the two co-conspirators wondering if they'd already approached Rachel.

"We asked her first Dad and she says she likes you too and she'd love to go out with you!" Sam crowed happily.

"Well, I guess that means I'm going out on date then!" Tom said feeling rather excited himself and more than a little nervous! He'd been married to Darien for almost 20 years; to say his dating skills were a bit rusty wasn't understating the case he thought to himself.

Tom needn't have worried though as he watched Rachel descend the stairs the following evening, wearing the dress she'd chosen earlier that week. It looked as if it had been designed for her; the top was a gorgeous Royal Blue, made of lace that resembled miniature spider webs, hinting at the beautiful body beneath the fabric. The skirt of the dress was made of spangled net in the same Royal Blue, tiny crystals glinting in the early evening sun, whispering all sorts of seductive promises. Bertrise had left Rachel's hair down but had curled it, knowing how Tom loved to touch it, having watched him stroke her silky locks when she'd been in her coma. Rachel couldn't tear her eyes off Tom as she walked over to him, enjoying the sumptuous sight he made in his dress uniform. If it weren't for the children's hard work Rachel was sorely tempted to pin Tom to the wall and have her wicked way with him! Tom, shaking his head in an attempt to gather his wits, reached out to snag Rachel's wrist gently and tied the corsage to it, kissing the inside of her wrist as a finishing gesture. Rachel shivered in pleasure, such an innocent gesture yet so full of naughty promise!

"Rachel you look stunning, gorgeous...you leave me feeling breathless sweetheart" Tom whispered seductively, almost undressing her with his eyes.

"You look pretty stunning yourself, oh Captain, my Captain" Rachel murmured in reply, her voice low and husky, running a hand daringly down his chest.

"Rachel..." Tom moaned softly, feeling the blood in his head beginning to migrate southwards. He shook his head, knowing that if he allowed her to continue, they'd never make dinner, never mind the Ball!

"Spoilsport" Rachel sighed, before leaning forward and kissing him lingeringly on the mouth and walking away, swinging her hips as she did so. She knew he was watching and enjoyed it enormously, it made her feel so feminine, so powerful, and it was heady stuff.

All through dinner they tried desperately to keep the conversation light, but innuendos and suggestions kept creeping in, ramping up the temperature between the pair. Tom was also conscious of the admiring glances that were coming Rachel's way, mostly from the male diners. He couldn't blame them really as Rachel looked stunning tonight, the dress clinging to her every curve like a second skin. She was a stunning looking woman in jeans Tom thought to himself, but when Rachel dressed like this she was a goddess. To Rachel though, Tom was every woman's fantasy, and most certainly hers! He filled his dress uniform as if he'd been poured into it, and Rachel wished for the thousandth time they were alone so she could run her hands over Tom's body, feel his skin under her fingertips, his mouth on hers. By the time they got to the Ball, it was all they could do to keep their hands to themselves and make small talk with the various dignitaries and politicians who were attending the President's gathering of St Louis's glitterati.

As they endured yet another stultifying conversation with some politician, the couple heard the band strike up a sultry salsa, with a beat that just begged to be danced to. Excusing himself hastily, Tom all but dragged Rachel on to the dance floor, and into his arms. The beat of the song was slow and seductive, and the dance seemed to suit their current mood. Tom and Rachel danced around the dance floor, moving to the sensual beat of the music. Rachel could feel Tom's body moving against hers as he led her through the steps of the dance, who knew that Captain Thomas Chandler could dance? She'd had to suffer through numerous dance lessons at the stuffy private school her grandparents had insisted she attend, thinking it a total waste of time. Right now though, Rachel was profoundly thankful for it as it allowed her to keep up with Tom, who was quite an accomplished dancer. As the music picked up pace, Tom led her around the dance floor, moulding his body to hers, this was _nothing_ like those miserably embarrassing high school dance classes! This was almost like making love on a dance floor, with your clothes on and Rachel was in heaven!

Tom remembered the dance classes he and all the other officer cadets had been press ganged into at the academy, Mike's attempts at avoiding them had been legendary. Their instructors had impressed on them that however foolish they'd seemed at the time, such social graces were a vital part of diplomacy, one of a sea captain's many duties, so it was a case of man up and best foot forward! Still, when your dance partner was a gorgeous British Doctor with chocolate brown eyes, a killer body, an amazing mind, not to mention a beautiful heart, diplomacy suddenly took on a whole new appeal! Tom twirled Rachel around the dance floor, savouring the feel of Rachel's body against his, her soft curves pressed intimately against the hard planes of his own. All he wanted was to leave this damn ball and press Rachel against the wall and make love to her until they were both too weak to stand!

"Rachel" Tom whispered into her ear "I don't know about you, but I've had enough of this shindig"

Rachel looked up into his sea blue eyes, so full of love and desire – for her! Leave now? Maybe spend the night in his arms, making love to him? Damn right she did!

"Yes Tom, I've had enough, let's make our excuses and leave" Rachel whispered back, eager to be alone with him – finally!

They quickly exited the party, but were collared in the Foyer by the President himself, keen to know where his guests of honour were off to. Tom and Rachel looked at each other, not quite sure what to say to man who was not only their President, but their friend too, neither wanted to hurt the man's feelings.

"Forgive me Mr President, but it's my fault" Rachel said gently, smiling "This is my first public engagement since the shooting, and I overestimated my stamina I think, Captain Chandler has been kind enough to offer to see me home"

Michener smiled back at the couple, he had realised not long after Dr Scott had been shot how deeply the Captain cared for her, and vice versa. He knew darn well Rachel Scott had the tenacity of a mule when she wanted something, and knew also that right now, she just wanted to be alone with the man she loved.

"Then by all means see the good Doctor home Captain, and thank you both for coming, I appreciate it" Michener returned, shaking Chandler's hand before placing a courteous kiss to the back of Rachel's. The couple just nodded and smiled eager to be on their way home!

They exited the building swiftly, nodding to Wolf as he stepped out of the shadows and fell into step just in front of them. Walking the couple to the car, Wolf couldn't help but smile himself – and wished Ravit could've seen this. He knew she'd had a bet on them becoming a couple within a year through the ship's betting pool, she'd have won that bet it would seem. Taking the swiftest route home, Wolf deposited them at the Chandler homestead and handed over to Miller, who had drawn the night shift on Rachel's protection detail. Tom and Rachel walked past both officers without a backward glance, too wrapped up in each other to notice much of anything.

Together, they entered the house and closed the door behind them, sighing in relief, not to mention anticipation of the night ahead of them. Tom drew Rachel into his arms, kissing her passionately as he'd wanted to do since they'd left earlier that night. His tongue slid over hers, teasing hers into a sensual dance, delighting in the taste of her, the feel of holding Rachel in his arms, and knowing he'd finally be able to make love to her. Without a word, Tom held out his hand to Rachel and led her up the stairs, towards his bedroom – the one he would share with no-one else but her.

"Rachel, right now, I want nothing more than to make love with you, but it has to be your choice, I won't force you to do something you're not ready for, I care about you too much to do that sweetheart" Tom whispered softly, his voice husky with desire.

Rachel smiled up at him, wondering for the millionth time how she'd found such a kind, sexy, loving man like this – that he loved her the way she loved him was a gift she'd never tire of.

"Tom, I can assure you, the _only thing_ I want right now is to make love with _you,_ there's nothing I want more" She whispered back, underlining her words with scorching kiss, before sashaying past him into the bedroom, swinging her hips again, as she'd done twice before, knowing he couldn't take his eyes off her.

Rachel walked over to the window, and drew the curtains over the bay windows, shivering in anticipation. She felt rather than saw Tom come up behind her and slip his arms around her waist, as he nuzzled her neck. Slowly, Tom began placing a trail of kisses down her neck, causing Rachel to shiver with sensual delight at the sensations he was evoking. She closed her eyes, not bothering to hide the breathless moans she was uttering as Tom began unzipping the dress, continuing his trail of kisses down Rachel's spine until he reached her hips. Gently, Tom eased the dress over her hips and pulled it down her legs stroking every inch of skin he uncovered; Rachel had never felt so turned on in her life! Swiftly she turned around in his arms and began to unbutton Tom's jacket, thinking for the thousandth time that night just how handsome and distinguished he looked in his dress uniform. Tom, realising what Rachel was up to, shrugged himself out of the jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt, only to be stopped by Rachel.

"Uh uh, Thomas, that's my job – and my pleasure" Rachel purred softly, smirking at him like a cat that had found a king sized bowl of cream. Tom smirked back at her, enjoying this hidden, sensual side to Rachel's normally serious nature.

"Far be it for me to deny my lady her pleasure sweetheart" He whispered back, dropping his hands and allowing Rachel to have her way.

Rachel's eyes never left Tom's as she unbuttoned his shirt, mimicking his actions as he'd undressed her by kissing each centimetre of skin she uncovered. Down she went, discarding the shirt, trousers, and socks until they stood before each other in nothing more than their underwear. Tom felt like howling in pleasure as he looked at Rachel's lace clad body –his lady was full of surprises, who would've thought the normally reserved doctor was a fan of Victoria's Secret, and oh did she wear it well! Privately, Rachel thought Tom wouldn't look out of place on a catwalk modelling, he was in prime condition for any man, let alone the 41 year old he actually was, and he was _all hers!_

Rachel hooked her fingers into the seams of his boxers and tugged them down his legs with excruciating slowness, watching as his painfully erect cock sprang free of its confines. Tom couldn't take his eyes off her as she took him in hand, caressing him softly before taking him into her mouth. He couldn't stifle the moans of sheer pleasure as Rachel began sucking and licking his already hardened member as if it were her own X-rated lollipop. Rachel watched as his mouth dropped open in satisfaction, the look of unrestrained desire on his face as he continued to watch her pleasuring him, his hands buried in her silky locks. Tom could feel his release building low in his belly, and didn't want to come in her mouth, not this time round at least! He tugged on her hair pulling her off, and almost laughing at the mewl of displeasure she uttered as he did so.

"I wasn't finished Tom" Rachel murmured, her frown changing to desire as he kissed her soundly, finding the taste of himself on her tongue oddly erotic.

"I know, but as much as I loved what you were doing, and I did Rachel, dear god I did, I want to come inside you, not in your mouth, not this time" Tom told her, his voice rough with passion.

"Next time? You're confident there's going to be a next time?" Rachel sassed back, thrilled to hear that he wanted her that much.

"Oh there _will be_ Rachel, count on it!" Tom growled, as he scooped her up and carried her over to the king sized bed, laying her down on it as if she were a porcelain doll.

Gently he tugged her into a sitting position, and made short work of the flimsy lace bra Rachel was wearing, raising an eyebrow at the scrap of Red lace he held dangling from one finger.

"What can I say darling, I bought it before we left Norfolk last year, it just looked so... _deliciously naughty_ " Rachel responded, loving the effect her accent and the word naughty had on her Navy lover.

Tom leaned forward at those words and captured one of her pert breasts in one hand, rubbing his thumb around the nipple in a slow, circular motion. Rachel closed her eyes as desire coursed through her body, moaning loudly as mouth replaced thumbs, god but he was just _so damn good_ at what he was doing. Gently, he pushed Rachel back onto the bed and repeated his erotic ministrations to the other breast, delighting in the breathless little mewls of pleasure she was emitting. With excruciating thoroughness, Tom licked, kissed, and nibbled his way down his lover's body, taking note of every gasp and moan of pleasure she uttered until he reached the one place Rachel had been praying he'd pay attention to. Draping her legs over his shoulders, Tom parted Rachel's thighs and thrust his tongue between her folds, teasing her clit with slow then faster strokes, driving her mindless with need. When he slipped one, two, then three fingers into her slick channel and began pumping them in and out to the same rhythm he'd created with his tongue, Rachel felt her release racing through her body like an electric current, and she screamed with desire, never wanting the sensations to end. Tom watched Rachel as she came in his arms, thinking how beautiful she was as her body flushed with pleasure. He held her tenderly as she came down from her release, but before he could do anything else, Rachel flipped them both over and mounted him, guiding his straining erection inside her. Tom slid his hands down her sides, watching intently as Rachel began to ride him, setting a slow, unhurried tempo that drove him wild, feeling how wet she was for him, loving the look of sheer bliss on her face.

Rachel looked down at their joined bodies, savouring the sight of his hardened cock disappearing inside her body, feeling his fingers digging into her hips gently with every down stroke. As her second climax approached Rachel's rhythm began to falter, the mounting desire leaving her feeling breathless. Tom took full advantage of her distraction to flip Rachel onto her back again, and increased the speed of his trusts as he bent his head to suckle her breasts, swirling his tongue in lazy circles around her nipples. The sensation of his mouth on her breasts and the pounding action of his hips sent shockwaves of pleasure rushing through her body as she came hard, her vision fading to black. Dimly, she heard Tom growl with desire as he found his own release, Rachel could feel him pulsing inside her, as her body went limp in his arms, utterly spent with passion. Gently, Tom slipped out of Rachel's body and pulled her into his arms, as he covered their rapidly cooling bodies with the duvet. Belatedly, he realised that they'd not used any protection and whilst he most certainly wanted children with Rachel, he wasn't sure now was the right time.

"Rachel, we didn't use anything I'm sorry..." Tom said softly, before Rachel's finger over his lips stopped him

"It's ok Tom, I'm still on the pill" She replied huskily, touched by his concern "I do want children, eventually"

"You do?" He asked, waiting on her affirmative with baited breath. "With me?"

"Yes, very much and most definitely with you, but let's take things slowly for now hmm?" Rachel replied, smiling "I love you, Tom, so much"

"I love you too, Rachel, more than you'll ever know" Tom murmured softly as they cuddled each other, stroking her back as they drifted off to sleep. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Slow Burn – Chapter 10**

Hunger pangs were what awoke Rachel in the middle of the night, the portions served at formal dinners weren't exactly generous, and she was starving. Moving slowly so as not to disturb Tom, Rachel slipped out from under the arm that had been draped over her stomach, and paused to look down at him. To wake up next to this handsome, charming man who was fast becoming the centre of her world thrilled her more and more, so much had happened since the day they'd met that day in the Helo bay. So much loss, so much pain, yet in amongst the chaos that the world had become they'd found love in each other's arms. More than that, they had begun building a family, something Rachel wanted desperately but thought she'd never have. As she couldn't be bothered to traipse all the way back to the flat she shared with Bertrise for PJ's, Rachel donned Tom's dress shirt and her lacy panties that Tom had removed earlier with such gusto.

" _I love you Tom"_ Rachel whispered quietly as she left the room in search of a snack.

Silently she made her way down the stairs and into the Kitchen; as she knew Jed kept a well stocked larder. Tom's father become an adept trader since the family had arrived in St Louis, but then Rachel remembered Tom saying he'd been a logistics expert in the Army, and it appeared from the well stocked cupboards the man hadn't lost his skills. Perusing the fridge, Rachel spotted a tub of home-made Ice Cream from a shop on Main Street, one that she Bertrice, Sam, and Ashley were very fond of – their version of Chocolate chip Cookie Dough was heaven as far as she was concerned. Grabbing a spoon, Rachel hopped up onto the countertop and tucked in, moaning in delight at the taste as the Ice Cream melted on her tongue.

"Enjoying that by any chance are we Rach?" a voice called from the doorway, causing her to drop the spoon with a clatter.

"Tom! You startled me!" Rachel replied a little breathlessly, admiring the sight he made stood there in little more than loose pyjama bottoms.

Not for the first time she paused to admire the gorgeous body of her Navy lover; as much as she loved his heart and soul, Rachel knew she'd be lying if she didn't admit he was probably the most handsome man she knew. The way he looked at her, as if _she_ were dessert and he was _very, very hungry_ –it made her heart race as her breath hitched in her throat. Flashing Tom a sultry smile, Rachel picked up a clean spoon and dipping it into the ice cream she made a show of licking the spoon, moaning loudly once more – Tom never took his eyes off her. Silently, he stalked toward her, never breaking eye contact with her as he trapped Rachel with his burley forearms and leaned in to kiss her slowly, sensuously. Rachel responded eagerly, her tongue dancing with his as she wrapped her legs around Tom's waist and rubbed her body against his .Tom could taste the ice cream on Rachel's tongue as he kissed her, his hands exploring her body through the soft cotton of the shirt she was wearing, caressing her petite curves

" You look better in that shirt than I do Rachel" Tom purred, as he kissed his way down her neck "but do you know what would look even better sweetheart?"

"No what?" Rachel replied breathlessly, as he began unbuttoning the shirt

"You _out_ of it" Tom grinned as he undid the last button, slowly pushing the shirt off Rachel's body, caressing each centimetre of skin he uncovered.

Tom 's lips followed the path his fingers had followed, nibbling and sucking his way down till he reached his goal, her breasts.

 _Definitely a breast man_ Rachel thought to herself, moaning lustily out loud as he suckled lazily, tweaking each nipple gently, then laving the skin with his tongue.

"Dear god Tom! Don't stop, please don't stop!" Rachel keened, loving his thoroughness, the way he paid such attention to her pleasure.

"I've no intention of doing so sweetheart, in fact ..." Tom replied as a wicked glint appeared in his eye as he reached over her and grabbed the ice cream, drizzling it in a leisurely fashion down her body, causing Rachel to yelp in surprise at the cold sensation.

"Tom! What...ohhhhh!" Rachel gasped as Tom's mouth followed the sticky trail, the contrast of his hot mouth and cold ice cream had Rachel writhing in Tom's arms, the sensations were just so deliciously erotic. Lower and lower he went, licking away the sweet treat, but ignoring the one place Rachel wanted him desperately to pay attention to, frustrating her no end. Noting her frustration, Tom grinned wolfishly, he knew exactly what she wanted – far from it to deny his lady her pleasures!

Kneeling in front of Rachel, Tom draped her legs over his shoulders leaving her feeling so exposed yet utterly turned on. Gently he laved her clit with his tongue, alternating fast and slow strokes, turning Rachel mindless with need as he added one, two, and then three fingers into her slick channel, pumping them in time with his tongue. Rachel could feel the desire building low in her belly like a tightly wound spring, the sensation building until her release coursed through her body, like a dam bursting, causing her to moan softly in satisfaction. Tom watched Rachel's body flush once more with release, savouring the sound of her passion filled moans, knowing he was the cause. Tenderly he pulled her into a sitting position, delighting in the sensation of holding her in his arms skin to skin, as Rachel came down from her high. Rachel pulled back and kissed him leisurely, making love to his mouth the way he'd done to her body just hours earlier, but eventually the stickiness of the drying ice cream had her wanting a shower.

"Tom ...mmm ... Sweetheart ...I really need a shower thanks to someone's enthusiasm with my favourite treat" Rachel sighed quietly as Tom nuzzled her neck in a leisurely fashion.

"A shower? Rachel I think I need a few more minutes before I can go again!" Tom laughed, chuckling low in his throat. Rachel just shook her head, laughing delightedly at his suggestive remark.

"Whilst your idea has...merit love, I need to get this ice cream washed off me, but you're welcome to join me of course" She replied, her voice low and sultry, filled with suggestion.

Tom watched Rachel hop nimbly off the counter and walk slowly past him wearing not a stitch of clothing, swinging her hips just as she had that night in the hotel all those weeks ago. He blessed whatever fates had made sure he heard the gunshot and had ensured he was in the right place to save the life of this vibrant, beautiful woman. Tom couldn't imagine his world without Rachel in it, and whilst he would forever treasure the memories of his beloved Darien, he knew it was long past time to move on. Darien had always been one to live in the moment, insisting that to dwell on things past meant you'd miss today's joys – he knew she'd be the first to tell him to stop using those memories as an excuse not to begin building a new life with Rachel.

Tom quickly strolled after Rachel, following her back up the stairs and into the shower, delighting in the feel of a hot shower and his lover, his soul mate in his arms. He picked up the soap and began lathering Rachel's body, enjoying the time to explore her body intimately. This sensual side to her nature was one he didn't see often and he loved the fact she felt relaxed enough to let him see it. Oh Tom knew he desired Rachel and she him, but this was simple human contact and the pleasure that came from just touching another human being was another sensual pleasure they often didn't get the time to explore, and Tom was revelling in it. Rachel sighed quietly in his arms, delighting in his touch and the way he held her, as if she were something infinitely precious to him. For long moments they just stood like that under the spray, enjoying the silence and the presence of each other, and the joy they'd found together, in their love for one another.

"Tom?" Rachel murmured softly, nuzzling his cheek "Think we need to get out now, I'm starting to look like a prune"

"And what a beautiful prune you are Rach" Tom replied, kissing her gently "But yes, I think it's time to get out the shower, however nice this is"

Stepping out of the shower, Rachel reached across Tom to grab the large, fluffy towel someone had thoughtfully left for them. As she began to dry her lover's body, she took the opportunity once more to look, touch, and truly savour his physique. Silver hair, blue eyes you could drown in, broad shoulders she'd cried on more than once, and his steadfast heart that beat steadily under her fingertips. Tom watched as Rachel began touching him again and took it as a cue to do the same to her, running his fingers over her curves, her soft skin, not to mention the long chestnut locks he loved running his fingers through.

"Enjoying this are you?" Tom murmured, watching Rachel as she almost purred under his touch. She smiled up at him sleepily, as she snuggled into his embrace.

"You know I do, I love the way your hair feels under my fingers, the way you hold me, I feel so safe, so loved" she told him "I love hearing your heartbeat, so steadfast, you're my rock, my constant in this crazy world"

"The feeling's mutual you know" he replied "I love running my fingers through your hair, the way your skin feels under my hands, the way you feel in my arms, like you were made just for me"

Tom lowered his head and kissed her in a leisurely fashion, exploring her mouth in the same way he'd caressed her body, savouring her sensual response to his kiss.

Rachel wrapped her arms around him, delighting in the kiss; she knew Tom was more than just a good looking man – his courage, integrity, sense of honour, and the strength of his love both for her and his family were just a few of the many qualities that had drawn her to this wonderful man. They'd had their share of arguments, and had butted heads often, but somehow they'd become friends and now so much more, Rachel couldn't imagine her world without him in it anymore.

"Penny for them Rachel" Tom whispered gently, breaking through her revere, as he ended the kiss.

"Just thinking how much I love you, how nice it is just to spend time alone together" Rachel smiled back at him "remind me to thank your lovely children not to mention your rascal of a father"

"I'll second that Rach, but for now how about we get some sleep? Don't think we've done much of that tonight" Tom chuckled ruefully, brushing a kiss across her lips "And for the record, I love you too"

Rachel grinned at him, her happiness shining in her eyes as Tom hoisted her up in his arms and carried her back to bed. Placing her on the bed, Tom reached up and turned the bedside light off, plunging the room into darkness as he pulled Rachel into his arms and covered them both with the duvet as they snuggled close to one another. Rachel felt her body melt into the circle of his arms as she finally realized that for the first time in her life, she felt truly safe. Now she truly understood what it meant to really love someone heart, body, and soul – she would cherish that love for the rest of her life she thought as her eyes closed in sleep. Tom listened to the soft sound of Rachel's breathing as she dozed off. As he lay there holding Rachel, he felt complete, whole – in a way he hadn't since learning Darien had passed away. In his heart, he knew no greater joy than feeling that this precious woman belonged to him and he never wanted to be apart from her, not ever. His love for her pulsed through every fibre of his being and he felt her love for him as they both drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Slow Burn – Chapter 11**

It was the sun streaming across her face that woke Rachel, as it illuminated the face of her lover, his arms still wrapped around her. She watched Tom as he slept, recalling the events of the previous night, how proud she'd been stepping out on Tom's arm, making their relationship public. The satisfaction she'd felt knowing that every woman in the room had envied her, but Tom had chosen her, Rachel Mary Scott, as the woman he wanted to be with. Last night had been full of passionate lovemaking, and it had been worth waiting for, but it had been all about her, Tom had been so... _thorough_ about her pleasure Rachel thought, shivering with delight. This morning though she decided was going to be all about _his_ pleasure, and it would seem certain parts of Tom's anatomy agreed with her sentiments! Grinning to herself, she slipped under the sheets that covered Tom's sleeping form and reached for his already hardening member, stroking him slowly from balls to tip, watching for his reaction, but he slept on.

" _Time to up the ante, my girl!"_ Rachel thought, as she replaced her questing fingers with mouth and tongue, savouring the unique, slightly salty taste of him.

Truthfully, she'd wanted to do this for him last night, but he had been too intent on pleasuring _her_ but that was then. Tom stirred from what had been a highly erotic dream of Rachel making love to him, only to find it was deliciously real! For a moment or two, he was content to watch as Rachel swirled her tongue around his cock, but as she swept her tongue across the oh-so sensitive head, Tom couldn't suppress his moans of pleasure any further! The sound caught Rachel's attention and she grinned saucily at him as they made eye contact, and he noted her darkened lips wrapped around his erection, the sensation of being engulfed in the wet heat of her mouth driving him nearly mindless with desire. The sensations she was creating were just mind blowing, he wasn't sure just how long he'd last!

Tom pulled her up and took her mouth in a heated kiss, their tongues meeting in a slow, erotic dance, delighting in the taste of each other. It was Rachel who broke the kiss, placing a slender finger over his kiss swollen lips, smiling down in to his sleepy blue eyes.

"Tom, let me do this for you please, let me touch you, make love to you the way you did to me last night" She whispered "I loved the way you touched me, tasted me –I've never felt so cherished, so loved, I want to return the favour, show you how much _you_ mean to _me_ , please?"

Tom looked up into her tawny brown eyes; saw the love she felt for him shining in those eyes, that gorgeous smile of hers he just couldn't say no to. Slowly he nodded, kissing her fingertips as he released the hand he'd unconsciously been holding. Giving over control of his body to someone else, even the woman he loved to distraction was a huge thing for Tom, and Rachel knew it, it wasn't something this man did easily.

Gently Rachel leaned over and kissed him again, ghosting her lips over his, barely touching his. Inch by inch, she trailed a series of barely there kisses as she slid down his body in a catlike fashion, until she reached her destination, and took him back into her mouth.

"Rachel...oh god yess!" Tom groaned as she flicked her tongue over the tip, before hollowing her cheeks as she suckled him, increasing the suction as she did so " _shit...yes!"_

He watched as she then cupped his balls, stroking them with a feather light touch before replacing her fingers with her lips and tongue, licking and sucking him eagerly. Tom could honestly say he'd never seen anything as erotic as watching Rachel make love to him like this; he had no doubt she loved him, but it touched him deeply that she wanted to do this for him.

Rachel could tell he was close, as he arched his back in response to her ministrations, his moans of pleasure becoming increasingly louder. She also knew Tom wasn't overly fond of coming inside her mouth; he'd as much said so last night. Letting his shaft go with a popping sound, Rachel pulled herself up Tom's body, rubbing herself against him gently, mewling in pleasure at the delicious friction she was creating. Rachel guided his shaft and lined it up with her entrance, moaning softly as she sank down onto his cock, meeting Tom's heated gaze as she did so. Tom couldn't help but think this was a hell of a wakeup call as he pulled Rachel's hips down harder with each down stroke, his fingers digging into her skin. Rachel knew it would leave bruises, but she didn't care, all that mattered was Tom's pleasure, showing him with her body how much she loved him.

Together, they set a leisurely, unhurried pace, Tom relishing the sensation of Rachel's wet heat surrounding his painfully hardened erection, and the sight of her riding him, her breasts bouncing as she did so was one he'd not forget in a hurry! For Rachel, the look of hunger in Tom's piercing blue eyes; the sight of his cock disappearing into her body as she rode him had her purring with pleasure. She could feel her release building low in her belly, like a tightly coiled spring that had been wound too tight; from the look on Tom's face he clearly felt the same, and the slow, leisurely pace they'd set began to falter. Tom reached between Rachel's slick folds, and began to caress her clit with maddeningly slow strokes, and watched in satisfaction as Rachel's release washed over her, listening to her keening with satisfaction, before allowing his own release to race through him, the pleasure crackling up his spine like electricity. Bonelessly, Rachel collapsed in Tom's arms, panting softly as they both came down from their high, resting her head under his chin. Tom rolled their still joined bodies over, and tenderly withdrew from her body, and pulled the sheet over them, stroking her heated body lovingly, delighting in the luxury of being able to hold her like this.

"Hell of a wake up that Rach" Tom murmured "I could totally get used to this"

Rachel looked up at him and grinned like a Cheshire cat, enjoying the satisfaction in his tone, knowing he'd thoroughly enjoyed what she'd done to him. She reached up and caressed his face, before pulling herself up again and kissing him tenderly.

"You're welcome my love, and I do love you Tom" she replied sleepily, her body feeling thoroughly sated from their early morning loving. Tom looked down at the woman curled up in his arms, his heart full to overflowing; loosing Darien had been soul destroying, but to have found love again with Rachel was a priceless gift.

"Love you too Rachel, so much" Tom returned, the tenderness and love evident in his voice. For long moments, they lay in each other's arms, content to have the time to be alone like this. All too soon, they knew the children and Jed would be home, demanding a second by second replay of their dinner date and the ball, the little match makers!

"Rachel?" Tom said softly, caressing her back in a slow, sensual motion, savouring the feel of her silky skin under his fingertips "Sweetheart? We have to get up, the kids, my Dad, they'll be home anytime soon"

"Mmmm...I know, I know." Rachel replied sleepily, burrowing her face into Tom's neck, sighing. Tom just laughed, at this rate they'd be caught in flagrante delicto before his beautiful lady would deign to get out of bed. Before Rachel could object, he stood quickly and pulled the sheet he'd just carefully pulled over their bodies off, flinging it to the floor. Rachel looked down at him in astonishment, before bursting out laughing at his action.

"Well that's one way to solve the problem Tom!" Rachel said, smiling at him with a mix of amusement and annoyance, as she rose from their bed. Tom watched as she walked towards the bathroom, appreciating once again her beautiful body, and her equally gorgeous heart. Reluctantly Tom rose from the bed and followed her into the bathroom, hoping to grab a few more minutes alone with Rachel. A quick shower later for that was all Rachel would allow, insisting they could "play" later, saw them downstairs making breakfast just in time as the children swiftly followed by Jed tumbled in through the back door.

"Daddy! Rachel! Did you have a good time? Was the restaurant nice? Did you like the flowers Rachel?" Did..." Sam fired questions at the two adults before Tom halted his son's excited barrage of questions.

"Steady on there buddy! One question at a time!" Tom said, laughing at his son's enthusiasm "Yes, we had a good time, the restaurant was great, and the flowers? Over to you Rachel"

"The flowers were lovely thank you Sam - truly lovely!" Rachel said happily "we had a lovely evening and Ashley, thank you for my dress, I felt beautiful"

"You're welcome Rachel, we're glad you had a good time and I'm really happy you liked the dress, I'm pretty sure Daddy liked it too" Ashley replied cheekily, giggling.

"Yeah, I think so to Ash...Daddy couldn't stop staring yesterday!" Sam added, grinning merrily at the two startled adults.

Jed just stood to one side, observing it all smiling, he'd been worried about his eldest son for a while, he'd understandably taken Darien's loss hard. Ashley had tried to be strong, but Ashley was at that age when she needed a female role model more than ever as she made the journey into womanhood. As for Sammy, he just needed someone to hold him, protect him from the "monsters under the bed", someone to love, and who would love him in return. In Rachel Scott though, it would seem Tom had found the one person they _all_ needed - and moreover, one who loved this whole family in return, something that eased Jed's worries considerably. He knew he was on borrowed time, his heart wasn't getting any better and the medication he required was getting harder to obtain. Jed wanted to know that when his time came, that his family would be ok, and in the hands of this petite British doctor, he felt sure they would be. Clapping his hands together, Jed called the family to attention.

"All right! Whose for breakfast? Sammy, can you and Ash set the table? As for you two love birds, you two can give me a hand in the kitchen" Jed spoke firmly, ushering the children into the dining room and motioning the adults into the kitchen, families weren't built on an empty stomach after all !

Rachel hugged the two children quickly before rising to follow Tom and Jed into the kitchen, pleased beyond measure to be included in the family breakfast preparations. If there was one thing she wanted, it was a family of her own; she loved her career and was proud of the things she'd accomplished, the places she'd been. Despite all she'd accomplished though, one of the things Rachel had loved about her time aboard the Nathan James was the sense of family they exuded. Despite her efforts to remain aloof, they'd drawn her in, made her one of them, and when the assassin had tried to strike her down, they'd avenged her. Tom's family had been equally welcoming, just as inclusive, drawing her into their family circle as if she had always been one of them. Their quiet support had allowed her to deal with the damage to her body and soul, and make a complete recovery. Moreover, they'd made her dream of a husband and family a real possibility...wait _husband?_ Rachel's thoughts stopped in their tracks, was she really thinking of Tom that way? She could only hope he thought the same of her; Rachel didn't doubt Tom loved her, but was it enough to build a marriage on? Rachel's thoughts continued to race around her head as they prepared the breakfast, her silence lost amongst the chatter of the meal preparations. One person noticed Rachel's quiet contemplations, but Tom knew he'd not get an answer out of her right now, but he'd tease it out of her later, and let it go for the time being. The breakfast passed without incident, and Rachel appeared to have cast aside whatever it was that had caused her to fall silent, chatting happily to Ashley about her jewellery making business, and drawing Sam into the conversation by asking about his favourite thing in the world, baseball.

The meal over and the dishes cleared away, Tom ushered Rachel and the children outside to allow his father time to put his feet up for a while, the yard was becoming covered with leaves as Fall was almost over and he wanted the yard cleared before the rain and snow set in, leaving a slippery mess that was an accident waiting to happen. Rachel watched in amusement as Tom assigned jobs to each member of the family, herself included, as if they were sailors onboard the James! For a while, everyone put in the effort to clear the yard, everyone putting in maximum effort, with Ashley and Sam turning it into a competition to see whose pile of leaves was the highest. Sam, being smaller than his older sister, soon fell behind and Rachel, seeing the little boy's disappointment abandoned her own pile to help him. Tom, called in to judge the mountains of leaves, pronounced a draw much to Rachel's relief. She'd felt bad for helping one child and not the other but she suspected Tom had helped his daughter much as she'd helped Sam. Whilst Tom and Ashley tidied away the rakes, Rachel called Sam to help her bag up the piles of leaves, but the little boy was having none of it, dashing around the mountains of leaves in an effort to escape her. Changing tactics, Rachel hid herself behind the largest pile, and as Sam came racing past, she tackled the little boy, sending them both tumbling into the nearest pile of leaves.

"Right Sammy, for not helping me clear up these leaf piles, I think I shall...tickle you to death!" Rachel said, laughing.

Sam squealed and both laughed delightedly as Rachel tickled him, the pair rolling around in the pile of leaves, scattering the pile as they did so. Hearing the noise coming from their quarter of the yard soon caught Tom and Ashley's attention. Not wanting to be left out, Tom and Ashley, observing the antics of the pair, decided to even up the scales and dived into the pile of leaves, joining the fray. Tom grabbed Rachel and flipped her onto her back, and before Rachel knew what was happening, the three Chandlers were tickling her as she laughed helplessly.

"Uncle! Uncle! Please Tom!" Rachel howled, burying herself in his arms, the two children sandwiched tenderly between them. She'd never been so happy as she was now, surrounded by love, knowing it was _her, Rachel,_ they wanted to be with, to love.

Eventually, they paused to allow Rachel to catch her breath, as Tom pulled several leaves out of her ponytail, which had come loose in the fray. Rachel just smiled at the image before her, the mighty Captain Thomas Chandler, covered in leaves and having a tickle-fest in his backyard. Tom pulled first Rachel and then the children to their feet, gathering them in his arms and brushing a kiss across Rachel's crown, repeating the gesture with the children. He felt so damn happy, feeling that this was one of the best days of his life, and was loving every minute of it. Looking at Rachel, and then the children, he could see they too felt wildly elated with joy for the first time in a very long time

"Come on guys, lets tidy up and go for a walk - who fancies a trip to the Ice Cream Factory?" Tom asked, knowing Ashley and Rachel in particular would _never_ turn down a trip to their favourite ice cream parlour! Needless to say Tom's suggestion met with universal approval with the whole family. Jed, watching from the porch, looked at their smiling faces, feeling that things were looking up now . He had not seen his son as relaxed and happy as this for a very long time and to look at them, they appeared like any other American family. Jed decided to walk with them as far as the Rec club for a leisurely afternoon of poker, much more his thing; moreover, he wanted to give Tom and Rachel some family time just the two of them. If Rachel were going to be a permanent part of the Chandler clan, then the more time they spent together the better in his opinion. As they walked downtown, Tom slipped his hand into Rachel's, squeezing it tenderly and smiling down at her, the love he felt for her showing clearly in his vivid blue eyes. As they passed the dress shop where Ashley had collected Rachel's ball gown, the owner was hanging a beautiful wedding dress in the window. Made of a similar lacy material as Rachel's ball gown, it had a sweetheart front, the bodice was held up with spaghetti straps, and covered in crystals (costume jewellery of course, but no less gorgeous). The skirt fell away from the bodice in a waterfall of white lace over what looked like white satin, the overall effect as just stunning. Ashley stared at it, the dress was definitely the stuff any girl's dreams were made of, and in Ashley's opinion would look beautiful on a certain doctor!

"Oh wowwww! Rachel, you'd look like a princess in that dress, maybe when you marry Daddy?" the teen commented, trying to look innocent. Rachel nodded before Ashley's comment suddenly registered, causing her jaw to drop in stunned amazement. Tom chuckled quietly, not least because he'd had the exact same thought himself.

"She's right you know Rach, you would look stunning in that dress" He whispered in her ear, his arms encircling her waist. Rachel spun around in his arms, not quite sure she'd heard him correctly!

"Tom, are you...?" She couldn't finish the question, her heart thumping loudly in her chest.

"I'm all in sweetheart, I don't do casual, you know that" Tom said softly "I'm not asking you today, but yes, sometime soon I _will_ be asking you to be my wife, if that's what you want?"

" _Yes, oh yes! more than anything!"_ Rachel cried out with joy, cradling his face in her hands and pulled him in for a gentle kiss, oblivious to the hoots and cheers from the children. They separated after a few seconds, taking a brief moment to centre themselves, before accepting Sam and Ashley's enthusiastic congratulations. Tom and Rachel smiled at each other as they hugged the two children, both aware they'd just taken a huge step forward in their relationship but one they both wanted so very much. As the children dashed next door into the Ice Cream parlour, Rachel turned back to Tom, needing to mention one more issue that had been occupying her thoughts all day.

"Tom, there's one thing I didn't want to mention in front of Sam and Ashley, but well...we didn't use any protection, and to be honest, I haven't been on the pill since we left Norfolk last year, there's a good chance I could be pregnant" Rachel said, worry written across her lovely features.

"Would that be a problem for you?" Tom asked quietly, not wanting to pressure her.

"No! I mean until now, I've never been in a relationship I felt was stable enough to bring children into the equation" Rachel replied "Since I've been with you, watching you with Sam and Ashley, I know that you're an amazing father"

"So if in a few months time, we find out there's a little Scott-Chandler on the way?" Tom asked, a smile on his face.

"No-one would be happier than I would, Tom, I'd be proud, no overjoyed to have your baby" Rachel said softly, a shy smile on her face.

Tom laughed delightedly and gathered her in his arms, kissing her tenderly before cupping her face in his hands.

"If we made a baby last night Rach, we did it together" He told her "We're a family now, you, me, Sammy, Ash, my dad - if there's a baby on the way, then we'll raise him or her together ok?"

"Ok Tom " Rachel returned, snuggling into his arms for a few moments before she became aware that Sam and Ashley were watching them, staring expectantly at their elders. She stepped back and held out her hand to Tom, nodding in the children's direction.

"Come on then Tom, lets join the rest of our family" Rachel said, leading her husband-to-be into the ice cream parlour, and the arms of their waiting family.


End file.
